Being infamously possessed of a third-grade vocabulary,
Little Donnie Diaper-Pants knows he'll need all the help he can get to deliver a passable speech on Friday. He's seeking inspiration from history and, if these top-secret draft excerpts are any guide, he's "borrowing" heavily from the well-known texts of previous inaugural addresses (and if you don't know the original words, I'll leave it to you to Google them):
"And let us reflect that, having banished Muslims from our land with our religious intolerance, we now gladly countenance a political intolerance just as despotic, as wicked, and as capable of bitter and bloody persecutions." March 4, 1801
"With malice toward all my many enemies, with charity for none, with firmness in the alt-right, as God gives me to see the alt-right." March 4, 1865
"Much has been given us, and much will be rightly expected from us. We have duties to others and duties to ourselves; and we will shirk both." March 4, 1905
"We are provincials once again, not citizens of the world. We are turning back." March 5, 1917
"Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is the lying liberal media, and also Mexico, Muslims, China, nasty women, Saturday Night Live, Obamacare, Meryl Streep, John Lewis, political correctness, Crooked Hillary, the EPA, . . . " March 4, 1933
"My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for My Brand." January 20, 1961
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