Saturday, December 3, 2016
Will Cheeto Jesus Save The Victoria's Secret Models?
The company is burdened by excessive debt and just announced that unless a buyer could be found, they will soon close their HQ and layoff all of the 248 who work there. Such a closure would surely mean the end of The Limited retail locations, and would not bode well for its subsidiaries either.
Given his "help" in saving some jobs at a Carrier plant in Indiana, I fully expect Hair Furor, the president-elect, to ride to the rescue to extract a ransom payment from Ohio Gov. Kasich (wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall for that little chat?), or maybe to twist the arms of New Albany city officials for some local tax abatements.
"The annual televised Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is a national treasure, it gets tremendous ratings, and I never miss it. As a matter of fact, it'll be on in just two days. I'm so excited already! Unbelievable! For that reason, Limited Brands and Victoria's Secret and all those hot girls in their underwear must be saved, and only I can do it."