America The Ugly (2009)

(From the Buster Gammons column of 9/9/09)

All month long in August we were treated to America The Ugly (and Dumb). Congress took a break and the far-right foamy-mouth brigade shifted into hyperdrive. You know, the standard-bearer of the Old Conservatism was none other than William F. Buckley. Whether you agreed with him or not, he was always a class act – elegant, calm, with a spectacular vocabulary and a lightning-quick, razor-sharp wit. He appeared on PBS. Now the New Conservatism is led by the Three Stooges – Rash Dimbulb, Sean Insanity, and Glen Peckerhead. They’re on Fox. If you spend more than 30 seconds a day listening to any of these guys, please stop now before your brain turns to mush! I care about you!

These leading lights of the Right did some serious pot-stirring in August, while Buckley spun in his coffin. We enjoyed:

TEA Parties. The party-goers are short on teeth and brain cells. Let’s try no taxes of any sort and see how that works out.

People packing heat – legally! -- at an Obama speech in Arizona. “Yes, but it’s a dry heat . . . in the muzzle of my AK-47!”

Shout-downs at town hall meetings. At one of these, a woman called Barney Frank a Nazi. Barney suggested she possessed the intellect of a dining room table. Barney held the high ground.

Senior citizens on Medicare getting all irate about government health insurance. Yo, old dude! Medicare is government health insurance.

Lou Dobbs giving credence to the “birther” myth that Obama was born in Kenya. He was born in Hawaii, Lou. You were born on Mars!

Glen Peckerhead telling us that Obama “hates white people.” No, he just hates you, honky!

That beacon of accuracy, Sarah Palin, telling us that health care reform would include “death panels.” Not even close, sweetie. And anyway, Sarah, we already have death panels. They’re called insurance companies.

Right-wing, redneck radio persuades some spineless school districts to not carry the President’s national address to school children on the topic of education. Brilliant! How educational.