Another Big-Boy Trip

My Big-Boy Trip to Switzerland

by Donald J. Trump

I'm excited to be going to Davos, Switzerland, which is in Europe.  Europe has too many foreigners, but I'm going anyway.  I'm going to tell all those foreigners about money.  I'm, like, really rich and, like, really smart, so I know all about money, believe me.

I know things about Switzerland too.  

There's Swiss chocolate.  I like chocolate.  Three Musketeers is good.  So is hot chocolate, the kind with mini-marshmallows.

There's the Swiss army knife.  It's got lots of blades and scissors and things to help fight sharks.

Swiss steak comes from Switzerland.  But I won't eat it unless it comes with ketchup.

They make Swiss cuckoo clocks.  Many people are saying I'm a cuckoo clock -- many people are saying it.

There's Swiss cheese.  If it's so good, how come there's holes in it?  It's like they didn't finish making it.  I like cheese with no holes, like Velveeta.

I know about Swiss bank accounts too.  They're, like, really secret and good for laundering money.  But I like to launder my Russian money through Deutsche Bank.

And I know one more thing about Switzerland -- Robert Mueller can't talk to me while I'm there.