Why Can't He Be Our President?

• He speaks in a modulated, indoor voice.

• His dark hair is a color found in nature.

• At home, he has a glamorous wife and three photogenic children, still not old enough to warm his seat at a G-20 summit or be involved in an espionage scandal.

• His words are coherent and do not need to be run through Google Translate when he is done talking.

• He compliments the press corps:  "When you're at your best, it challenges us to be at ours.  So thank you for all your tireless work."

• He doesn't play golf; he snowboards.

• He smiles.

• His foreign minister is banned in Putin's Russia, and his defense minister was born in Punjab and wears a turban.

Who is this respected world leader, so unlike our own Abominable Showman?

It's our neighbor, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

As the cover story in the current issue of Rolling Stone asks, "Why can't he be our president?"