I'll Have A Cosmopolitan Bias, Up With A Twist

The fake president throws so much crap at the wall every day, I just can't keep up with all of it.  Lately, Donnie Demento quietly signed the Russian sanctions but called them "unconstitutional," told some golfing partners that "the White House is a dump," bragged about congratulatory phone calls he never received, and told his national security advisers that "winning" in Afghanistan is lot like remodeling the 21 Club in Manhattan.  And he's publicly supporting a hopeless Senate bill from a pair of southern right-tards which would cut legal immigration in half and give favored status to English speakers.

I'm sure I missed a bunch more Trump-o-rama drama, but I will say a couple things about the Cotton-Perdue anti-immigrant bill. 

My first known ancestor to step upon these shores was on my father's side.  He was Mareen DuVall, a French Huguenot from Normandy and former indentured servant who emigrated to provincial Maryland in 1659.  He was a carpenter, an architect and a farmer.  He did not speak English, but he learned soon enough and did well for himself.

On my mother's side, our first known family member was one Valtin Scherff, a German farmer from Bavaria.  He travelled with a group of German farmers and settled in north central Ohio in 1833.  He did not speak English, but he learned soon enough and did well for himself.

After announcing his backing of the bill, Dolt 45 sent rat-faced Nazi-boy Stephen Miller to the podium to 'splain it all to the press.  CNN's Jim Acosta asked how that English-speaking thing was going to work, and Miller promptly got nasty with him, accusing Acosta of "cosmopolitan bias."

To be cosmopolitan is to be a citizen of the world, comfortable with other cultures, urbane, sophisticated, and to believe in a single moral community for all humanity.  It's a positive connotation.

But alt-right white nationalists like Miller use the word as an insult.  In the Stalin-era USSR, it was code for being Jewish, e.g. "rootless cosmopolitans without a country."  Today, when Miller says Acosta has a "cosmopolitan bias," he means Acosta is un-American, because all real patriotic Americans are never cosmopolitan and always support xenophobic nonsense like the Cotton-Perdue bill.

Happily, the bill has strong bipartisan opposition and no chance of becoming law.  Even so, if Mareen and Valtin were around today, I'm sure they'd be proud of their multi-cultural backgrounds and join me in telling Miller, Trump, Cotton and Perdue to go straight to hell.
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As you know, a Cosmopolitan is also a popular cocktail made with vodka (from Russia), Cointreau (France), cranberry and lime juices.

Let's take this standard recipe up a notch by adding small amounts of gin (England), tequila (Mexico), beer (Germany), and sake (Japan).  We've just created a new, worldly-wise cocktail which we'll call the Cosmopolitan Bias.

We'll make Trump drink the first one, in hopes that it's completely nauseating.