To protest the release of the movie "The Interview," a group of pretend-terrorist hackers infiltrated Sony Pictures servers, released embarrassing company emails, and promised to somehow blow up every theater in America showing the Seth Rogen-James Franco comedy.
The group claims to be North Korean and calls itself the "Guardians of Peace," or GOP. Clearly, they are not Guardians of English Syntax, as shown by their hilariously garbled threats:
"You, Sony & FBI cannot find us. We are perfect as much."
"Bitter fate those who seek fun in terror should be doomed to."
"All the world will denounce the Sony."
Although this is a fairly basic hack job which could have been pulled off by almost any bored American teenager, the U.S. State Dept. now says there is hard evidence of an actual connection to North Korea, which is pretty hard to believe, since there are only a handful of North Koreans with access to both electricity and computers, and those computers are Tandy 2000's from Radio Shack.
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"Seth Rogen not good American
like Dennis Rodman." |
Dictator Kim-Jong-Un disparaged Rogen and said he failed to see the humor in the film, whose plot revolves around an interviewer's attempt to assassinate the North Korean leader. The angry Li'l Kim threatened to fire his missiles "at least fifty or sixty feet" if the movie is ever shown.
President Obama warned against any hasty overreaction, and said, "My recommendation is everybody should go to the movies and chill."
Sony executives disregarded that advice and cancelled the film's release, citing a lack of corporate nut-sack and resulting general wimpiness.
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