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Irregular commentary on whatever's on my mind -- politics, sports, current events, and life in general. After twenty years of writing business and community newsletters, fifteen years of fantasy baseball newsletters, and two years of email "columns", this is, I suppose, the inevitable result: the awful conceit that someone might actually care to read what I have to say. Posts may be added often, rarely, or never again. As always, my mood and motivation are unpredictable.

Buster Gammons















Monday, March 14, 2016

Sanders Sends Vegan Thugs To Attack Peace-Loving Nazis


Young vegan trouble-makers
CINCINNATI (The Borowitz Report) -- Republican front-runner Donald Trump was crying foul on Monday after Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders allegedly dispatched an army of vegan thugs to attack a rally of peace-loving Nazis in Cincinnati.

According to Trump, he had begun to address a group of "orderly and civil Nazis" at a downtown arena when his audience was suddenly set upon by an unruly mob of angry vegans, many menacingly clad in Birkenstocks and sustainable garments.

The Sanders supporters, singing an alarmingly militant version of Simon & Garfunkel's "America," marched into the arena and began "intimidating and threatening" the Nazis, Trump said.

"Make no mistake about who is starting the violence at these rallies," Trump said.  "It's the vegans."

Carol Foyler, a Nazi from suburban Cincinnati, said she feared for her life when one of the vegans "ripped a Trump sign" from her hands and "tried to recycle it."

Harland Dorrinson, a Kentucky Nazi who drove to Ohio to hear Trump speak, said he never would have attended the rally if he had known "there would be trouble-making vegans there."

"One of them tried to swing an NPR tote bag at my head," the terrified Nazi said.

(by Andy Borowitz, newyorker.com, 3/14/16


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