My Second Big Boy Trip

My Second Big Boy Trip

by Donald J. Trump
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I just came back from my second big foreign trip.

I got ice cream on the plane.  More than anybody else.

I went on the trip to tell all the world leaders "America First!"  Because it is.

We stopped in Poland first.  I stood in front of this big soldier wall and they let me talk about "the West" and how "our (white Christian) civilization" is in a fight for "survival."

Mr. Steve and Mr. Stephen said they liked my speech.

So did Mr. Duda, Poland's right-wing president.  Then he and I got to stand up and say bad things to the reporters about fake news.  It was fun!

Then we went to Hamburg.  It's in Germany.  My grandpa was from Germany.

In Germany, they call apples "apfels."  I ate a big apfel strudel.  It was yummy!

I was there for the G-20 summit.  I don't know what the "G" stands for.

I tweeted that "everybody" there was talking about "disgraceful" John Podesta and the DNC server.  Ha-ha!  I just made it up, but I got my name on TV again!

I was happy to see my old friend Vladi again.  He said nice things about me before.  He told me Russia did not try to influence the 2016 election.  I said I believed him, because nobody really knows for sure.

Vladi told me that Russia and America should make an impenetrable joint cyber-security unit.  I said that was a great idea!  Then somebody else told me about foxes and henhouses and said it wasn't a great idea at all.  Oh well.

I just couldn't make friends with any of the other leaders.  I was by myself a lot.  Lonely!

Asian leaders are so confusing.  I got their names all mixed up.  Were they Japanese?  Chinese?  I don't know.  They all look alike.  But North Korea is bad, very bad.

Ivanka came with me again.  That was good.  One guy was talking to me about some foreign thing and I got bored.  So I just walked away and left him with Ivanka.

On the flight home, Ivanka let me eat a big well-done steak with lots of ketchup, and then she let me use my phone.  I had fun tweeting the whole time about the DNC and crooked Hillary and Obama and fake news and everything.

I had a blast making America great again!  It's what I do.