Tips On Working And Living From Corporate America

For a variety of reasons, many people find themselves stuck in low-paying jobs in the food service industry or big-box retail.  But never fear, Compassionate Corporate America has plenty of helpful advice for their own employees.

For example, McDonald's posted this suggested personal budget on their "McResources Line" website:



Note that the first thing you do as a financially astute, budget-conscious McDonald's employee is get a second job.  Then to get that $2060 monthly take-home, just work at minimum wage somewhere between 62 and 74 hours per week.  Also note that you'll pay only $20/month for health insurance and $0 for heat.  Gas for your car?  Food?  Must be "other".

The McResources Line website also suggests breaking food into small pieces so you'll eat less while still "feeling full", and eating stale bread and bruised/rotten fruit.  The website recommends raising extra cash by "selling unwanted items on eBay or Craig' List" and says employees should avoid shopping at the mall, and instead should try the thrift shop (because, as Macklemore taught the world, "This is fucking awesome!")


Even with such outstanding budgeting, nutrition and shopping advice, you may still have other questions.  Fortunately, you can call the McResources Help Line, toll-free!  Full-time McDonald's employee Nancy Selgado made the call and got some great tips:



"As a valued employee, Nancy, we recommend you sign up for SNAP and Medicaid, OK?"

Gough

If you're thinking it's all a shit sandwich, Gordon Gough, president of the Ohio Council of Retail Merchants wants you to relax and rest easy in the knowledge that it's all just temporary.  Says Gough:  "Retail jobs, by design, are not meant to be long-term jobs.  They are jobs meant to subsidize income or get you by to your next job."

How comforting.  Short-term by design.  And subsidizing my income implies I have other income.  What if I don't?  And what if my next job is just as sucky as this one?



Low pay and income disparity are real and growing problems.  A recent state report found that Wal-Mart, McDonald's, Wendy's, Kroger's and Bob Evans had a combined 49,000 Ohio employees on Medicaid, up 27% from 2007.  Ohioans working for those same companies get $6 million per month in food stamps.

Hagan

State Rep. Robert Hagan (D-Youngstown) has introduced a bill to publish official annual data on how many retail and food service workers receive public assistance.  He says it's time to "shine a spotlight on how corporations prop up employee benefits at taxpayer expense."

Hagan is right and his intentions are noble.  Of course, in our GOP-dominated statehouse, his would-be bill will never see the light of day.  A pity.