Buster Wishes You Happy Humorous Holidays!

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. -- Phyllis Diller

Santa Claus has the right idea.  Visit people once a year. -- Victor Borge

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas.  I took it to the Gift Wrap Dept. and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he'd know when to stop unwrapping. -- Steven Wright 

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call. -- Richard Lewis

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. -- George Carlin

I once wanted to be an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays. -- Henny Youngman

Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty . . . and it was worth it, you fat judgmental bastard! -- Anonymous

There are 3 stages of man:  He believes in Santa Claus;  He does not believe in Santa Claus;  He is Santa Claus. -- Bob Phillips

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. -- Garrison Keillor

Where do you think you're going?  Nobody's leaving.  Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned, family Christmas.  No, no!  We're all in this together.  This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! -- Clark Griswold

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk.  This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. -- P.J. O'Rourke