It Ain't The Product, It's The Package

The reigning master of American beer-marketing gimickry is Miller Lite.  The entire history of this weak, watered-down brand is nothing if not a testament to the power of advertising.  They burst onto the scene many years ago with memorable, funny TV spots -- "Tastes great!  Less filling!" -- featuring ex-jocks like Dick Butkus, Bubba Smith, and Bob Uecker.  The beer itself has always been mediocre.  The silly ads -- "I also love the easy-opening cans!" -- were the winning schtick.

Today's gimmick is the container.  Not the product itself, just the package.  Somehow, that shitty old Miller Lite is magically transformed if you pour it from a "Vortex Bottle" (aerates it like fine wine!) or from a "Punch-Top Can" (a smoother pour?  Please.  It's a mass-produced chug-a-lug shotgun can.)  Fantastic crapola!  The next time you see someone actually pour a Miller Lite into a glass to better savor that fine brew will be the first.

Their latest marketing spiel is the re-introduction of the original "classic" White Miller Lite Can first seen in 1973.  Inside the can, it's the same old swill as always, but holding that beautiful white container will take you back to the golden age of polyester plaid bell-bottoms and shirt collars out to your shoulders.  "Hey, baby!  You like Edgar Winter?  How about Seals & Crofts?  Stevie Wonder, maybe?"

If they're gonna re-market a beer can from 40 years ago, I sure hope they rinse that sucker out first.