Real (Stupid) People Are Greatly Worried (About Fake Stuff)

First, it's host Megyn Kelly on Fox News assuring children that, no matter what some [black] person suggests, "Santa Claus is white."



"Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it has to change."  What a beautiful, heart-warming thought, Megyn, you moron.

Next comes the news that a group of British doctors who studied the complete works of Ian Fleming have concluded that James Bond drank too much.  I'm sure he did.  I mean if Doctor No, Odd Job, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, and all the criminal masterminds of Spectre were constantly trying to kill me, I'd want something "shaken-not-stirred" too.  Just to take the edge off.

I'm also sure that Santa Claus and James Bond are purely fictional characters who don't really exist.  Therefore, Santa has no actual skin color whatsoever and James Bond wasn't drinking anything.