God's Quarterback?

Second-year Denver Bronco quarterback Tim Tebow is famously and publicly religious. He's a devout evangelical fundamentalist. At the University of Florida, he filmed an anti-abortion TV commercial, and would adorn his eye-black strips with Biblical chapter-and-verse inscriptions. As a pro, he now favors a prayerful, kneeling pose which has become known as "Tebowing". He does not curse, smoke, drink or fuck, and is nauseatingly wholesome. The religious right adores him, and has anointed him the Figurehead of Christianity in Sports. On the other hand, retired Bronco QB Jake Plummer has said he wishes Tebow would just shut the fuck up.

On the field, Tebow has never exhibited classic quarterbacking skills, and probably never will. But he's big, strong, fast, and very athletic. And successful. At Florida, he was on two national championship teams and he won the Heisman. Denver began this season 1-4 before making Tebow their starter. Since then, Denver has gone 7-1 and now leads its division. What's remarkable is that the Bronco offense has been consistently awful during these 8 games, but 7 times, late in the game, they've managed to somehow pull out dramatic victories. For the first 50 minutes of the game, Tebow looks like shit. Then Popeye finds his spinach and for the last 10 minutes, he can do no wrong.

All this sends the Christian crowd into spasms of ecstasy. They speak of miracles and righteousness and the power of true belief. And it all makes me wanna puke! God is rigging NFL games? Puh-leeze! Their opponents have been mediocre, the Denver defense has kept the games close, and, late in those games, Tebow has been both good and very lucky.

He reminds me of old QB's like Billy Kilmer, Joe Kapp, Greg Landry, and Steve Grogan. All ran the ball frequently. They were seldom pretty but they were usually winners. Kilmer, Kapp and Grogan took their teams to Super Bowls. Tebow just might have the same stuff in him. Of course, Kilmer and Kapp were two of the drinking-est, cussing-est, rowdiest SOB's to ever play the game, so there are some differences.

This Sunday, the mighty New England Patriots come to Denver. "Tom Terrific" vs. "Holy Tim." Will God's quarterback be blessed with another miraculous victory? Or, it being the Sabbath, will the Almighty take the day off, grab a beer, and just watch the game on TV like the rest of us?