Does The "C" In CPAC Stand For Crazy?

Good guess, but no, CPAC is the Conservative Political Action Conference -- the annual right-wing circle jerk where Republicans and Moral Majority-types make red-meat speeches and get themselves all riled up.  The 2014 CPAC is wrapping up tonight in Maryland.  

Here are some nuggets from this year's litany of fire and brimstone:

Trying to establish his redder-than-thou bona fides, Mitch McConnell took the stage carrying a rifle.  Mitch held it awkwardly at arms length, tried to look like Charlton Heston, but wound up looking perfectly ridiculous.  (And that is one old rifle! Did Mitch borrow it from Dan'l Boone?)

Bobby Jindal said that requiring insurance companies to cover contraception is an "assault on our freedoms," and said that contraception is an abortifacient.

Ted Cruz repeated, for the umpteenth time, his desire to repeal Obamacare and abolish the IRS.

Rick Perry told the faithful that government should have no role in education or health care.

Paul Ryan asserted that liberals just don't understand that kids who get free school lunches have parents who just don't care.

Chris Christie blamed the Republicans problems on the liberal media, called the Koch brothers "philanthropists", and said "Democrats are the party of intolerance, not us!"

Mike Huckabee said that America must "repent before we receive god's fiery judgment."

Vladimir Putin was scheduled to speak, but sent last-minute regrets, saying he was busy "restoring freedom" in the Ukraine.