Buster's Wine Club

Does The Donald drive you to drink?  Do you watch the evening news with barely-controlled rage?  Do political ads make you want to stick your head in the oven?

Here at Buster's Blog we feel your pain and we have the answer -- a membership in Buster's Wine Club, and your choice from our 2016 Campaign Collection.  We'll ship you enough wine -- daily if necessary -- to calm your nerves and soothe your soul.  Because nothing puts it all in perspective like a glass or three of wine.  Maybe four.


Our Top Sellers!

Trump's Temper Tantrum Tempranillo.  This cheap wine looks bad, smells awful, tastes even worse, and makes horrible loud noises when uncorked.  Definitely not for everybody, but we're selling some of it, mostly to under-educated white men angry about something they can't quite explain.  Each bottle contains a lock of luxurious orange hair.  Quality!

Sander's Socialist Sauvignon Blanc.  This dry old white is direct, honest and refreshing.  It is truth in a bottle, and is popular with younger wine drinkers.  The taste is bold and progressive, although after the initial exhilaration, the finish is a bit weak.  We will ship you this wine for free, but we'll need to double your income taxes.

Clinton's Calculating Cabernet.  Our best-selling selection so far this season!  Much more than a chick wine, it's a complex, experienced vintage with notes of liberalism and hints of Big Banking, with a heady nose of pragmatism.  This well-balanced wine tries to offer a bit of everything for everybody -- not sweet, but not too dry, just right in the middle.  It's a worldly selection from old vines with well-known heritage, but some critics find it stiff, institutional and formulaic.  Purchase of any bottle comes with two additional Super-Bottles at no extra charge.  And for a limited time only, we'll also throw in a free pants suit.  A guaranteed winner!





Deep Discount Labels!  Discontinued Vintages!

Cruz's Crack-Pot Christian Chianti.  Great deals available on this discontinued vintage.  We sold a fair amount of it, then the bottom dropped out, possibly due to this wine's disturbingly oily mouth-feel.  Remaining bottles are deeply discounted and each comes with a Bible, an anti-abortion pamphlet, an NRA membership application, and a how-to-shut-down-the-government instruction manual.

Jawhnny Kasich's McKeesport Merlot.  We carried this one for a long time and we're not sure why.  It wasn't popular and we sold very few.  You can pick up this one for pennies on the dollar.  Be forewarned, though -- it's not really Merlot, it's just a six-pack of Iron City Light.

Rubio's Thirsty Man Rose.  Just a few left.  This one stopped production before Kasich's Merlot even though it sold slightly better.  Which is not saying much.  The Rubio label suffered from deceptive marketing -- it was actually just bottled water.










Luckily, here at Buster's Wine Club, we didn't get a chance to stock up on all the early labels -- Christie's Cantankerous Claret, Santorum's Sweater-Vest Sangiovese, Chaffee's Cheap-Ass Chardonnay, Fiorina's Fractious Frontenac, et al.  Most of those start-up brands fail so quickly.

But, unfortunately for us, we did make a big-time buy on another discontinued label, Jeb Bush's Bland Barbera.  This once-popular grape has fallen from favor because it lacks any distinctive flavor.  We really thought this one would be a big seller, and now we have a boatload of it on our hands.  We'll send you all you want for free, but since we spent over $100 million on our stock of Bush's Bland, we'd greatly appreciate any donation you'd care to send our way.