Three More Stooges

Attack of the governors!  Christie has just announced, Kasich and Walker will follow suit shortly.  There are so many GOP presidential candidates, I can't possibly make fun of all of them.  But these three stooges will have to do for today.

Ohio Gov. John Kasich is seen by some as a sort of kinder, gentler Republican.  Those people need to check their prescriptions.  Kasich is a typical right-wing ideologue:  He cuts public education, privatizes state agencies and property, supports unconstitutional abortion restrictions, has regressive tax policies, thinks fracking is wonderful, and famously tried -- unsuccessfully -- to break Ohio's public employee unions.  He concedes that gay people are probably here to stay, which makes him a "moderate" Republican.  Sure it does.

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker is a younger Kasich clone, a winking, pointing, frat boy dick without any pretense of moderation.  He holds all the same positions as Kasich, and then some.  Walker adds the preacher's-kid fake piety on top of the usual GOP greed and malice.  He is an obvious puppet of billionaire business interests.  Also famously tried and succeeded in breaking Wisconsin's public employee unions.  Barely survived a recall.    

New Jersey Gov. Chris "Caldera" Christie is a scandal-plagued bully with anger-management issues.  Showed one brief moment of mensch-hood by hugging Obama in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, but is an otherwise hot-tempered, caustic, confrontational, belligerent, abrasive SOB.  His Heftiness is a smoldering volcanic eruption waiting to happen.  Christie's bluster is almost the equal of Trump's.  Funny -- they're both from New Jersey.  Coincidence?  I think not.



These are three candidates born to be slaughtered in a general election.  Why do they bother, and how many more clowns will there be in the GOP circus?