Judge John Hodgman Rules

"Richard" writes:
My aunt, who has lived in Brooklyn all her 80-plus years, had surgery to implant artificial hips.  She says she is now entitled to be called a "hipster."  I disagree and say she has no right to claim this title.  Who is correct?

Judge John Hodgman rules:
Unless her new hip is fashioned out of reclaimed, dovetail-jointed oak salvaged from sunken pre-Prohibition rye whiskey barrels, the answer is:  She is not a hipster.  She is just making an age-appropriately-corny pun.  Thank goodness you are there to ruin your nice old auntie's fun!
P.S.  That's sarcasm, you miserable hipster.