A Quick Course In Comparative Religion

(Sent by a faithful reader. Thank you, Faithful Reader.)
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Taoism: Shit happens.

Buddhism: If Shit happens, it’s not really Shit.

Ecumenicism: Overlook all the different Shit.

Islamism: If Shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Protestantism: Shit happens when you don’t work hard enough.

Judaism: Why does this Shit always happen to us?

Hinduism: This Shit happened before.

Catholicism: Shit happens because you are bad.

Hare Krishna: Good Shit happens when you chant Rama Shit.

TV Evangelism: Send us more Shit.

Jehovah’s Witnesses: Knock, knock, Witness some of our Shit, and take our Shitty pamphlet.

Christian Science: Shit happens in your mind.

Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this Shit!

Atheism: No Shit, Sherlock.

Agnosticism: Maybe Shit happens, maybe it doesn’t.

Existentialism: What is Shit anyway?

Hedonism: There’s nothing like dirty Shit.

Humanism: Human Shit just doesn't stink.

Relativism: Shit teaches us to live and let live.

Stoicism: This Shit doesn’t bother me.

Syncretism: Mixes up all the Shit to produce diarrhea.

And my favorite...

Nihilism: Annihilates all other "isms" by making them Eat Shit and Die.