Welcome to Buster's Blog

Irregular commentary on whatever's on my mind -- politics, sports, current events, and life in general. After twenty years of writing business and community newsletters, fifteen years of fantasy baseball newsletters, and two years of email "columns", this is, I suppose, the inevitable result: the awful conceit that someone might actually care to read what I have to say. Posts may be added often, rarely, or never again. As always, my mood and motivation are unpredictable.

Buster Gammons















Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Introducing The Cruci-Piece


Have you been wondering how to protect yourself in church?  Are you worried about being killed in your place of worship by a homicidal maniac?  Finally, your prayers have been answered, and now everyone can praise the Lord in perfect safety and security.

Introducing the Cruci-Piece, the ultimate Holy Handgun!

Forget that bulky holster, heavy pistol-purse, or uncomfortable gun-holding brassierre.  Worn on a neck chain as an ordinary crucifix, the Cruci-Piece is a light-weight, six-shot, .38 caliber lethal weapon conveniently located smack-dab in the middle of your bosom.

No more fumbling around in a panic -- the Cruci-Piece is right there for you where you need it when it's time to gun down all those church bad guys.  (And you know that time will come.)


The Cruci-Piece is available in the popular High Mass finish (as pictured), and also comes in nickel-plate, gun-metal blue, camo, and of course, pink.  For younger worshippers, try the .22 caliber Kid Cruci-Piece, specially designed for smaller trigger fingers.

The Cruci-Piece is Vatican-approved, but it's not just for Catholics.  We offer the Martin Luther Plain Cross model for our Protestant customers.  It has a wood-tone finish and is identical to the High Mass model, but without the crucified Jesus.

The Cruci-Piece is marketed exclusively by Buster Gammons Industries.  Call 1-800-GOD-GUNS for pricing and shipping information.

Remember:  To pray in peace, bring your piece.  Cruci-Piece.
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(This idea came from the lovely Mrs. Gammons as a joke response to one of our right-wing friends who, in the wake of the Emanuel AME Church massacre, said he believes all church-goers should henceforth attend services fully armed, just in case.  We subsequently shared the joke with other friends.  Most laughed and saw the humor, but some took it seriously and thought there would actually be a market for it.  I don't know.  Moral dilemma -- is it ethical to make money selling something you abhor?  Hmmm.  While we all ponder that, I've got dibs on patent rights.)
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