GOP 2016: The Hits Just Keep On Comin'!

More accurately, the shits keep coming.  Three more no-chance conserva-turds entered the Republican presidential fray in the past couple days.  Here's all you need to know about the newbies:

Dr. Ben Carson.  Retired surgeon.  No political experience, no elective office.  (Aim high, dude!)  Homophobe, Tea Bagger, and rigid opponent of Obamacare, although he offers no alternative, just a return to the past.  Prone to stupid pronouncements like, "Obamacare is like slavery."  He's the Herman Cain of 2016.

Carly Fiorina.  Former business executive.  No political experience, no elective office.  Ran unsuccessfully for U.S. Senate seat from California.  Says her background has allowed her to "understand the economy and executive decision-making."  In her tenure as CEO of Hewlett-Packard, she decided on an ill-advised merger with Compaq which  led to 30,000 layoffs and cut HP's stock price in half.  She was forced out and retired in 2005.  With her "understanding," she failed to register the domain name carlyfiorina.org, which now shows 30,000  :(  unhappy faces representing those she laid off.  Hates the Clintons.  Will serve as the 2016 campaign's unofficial attack dog.

Mike Huckabee.  Former Baptist preacher.  Former Arkansas governor.  Former presidential candidate.  Former Fox News host.  Lots of "former" going on with Huck.  "Current" and "future" are in serious doubt.  Has written a book titled God, Guns, Grits and Gravy.  He's vehemently anti-abortion and anti-gay.  Has called Jay-Z a pimp and Beyonce trash.  Thinks Jews could have prevented the Holocaust if only they had more guns.  Huck is full of holy bat-shit.  His natural and only constituency is old, white evangelicals.  And thank god, there aren't enough of them to put his crazy ass in the Oval Office.  Huckabee 2016 will be Huckabee 2008 redux.


Cruz, Paul, Rubio, Carson, Fiorina, Huckabee.  More to come.  The GOP is really reinventing itself, isn't it?  Good grief!