Hi Friends! Are you disappointed that The Savior hasn't appeared on your food? Sad that the Son O' God has skipped your bag of chips?
Well, despair no more! Don't sit there waiting for that miraculous Sign From Above. Make one for yourself everyday, and then eat it!
For just $31.95 (plus tax, shipping and processing), you can own the Grilled Cheesus Sandwich Maker. Everybody loves a warm and yummy grilled cheese. Burning the image of Our Lord onto your lunch will make yours taste even better.
The lactose-intolerant can opt for the Daily Bread Jesus Toaster. You take a couple slices, you drop 'em in the slot, you push down the lever and what do ya got? You got toast -- Jesus toast! Rise and shine with some lightly-buttered Lamb of God. That's good eatin'! And good for your soul. Also $31.95.
Forget that pre-fab bagged crap. Top chefs agree that the best shredded cheese is home-made. Now you can show off your godly gourmet skills with this must-have kitchen accessory -- the Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater. For $15.95, you can make mounds of delicious grated cheese and gaze upon the holy image of Jesus at the same time. And it works great with vegetables too. Hallelujah!
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The above are actual products available in today's marketplace.
Myself, I always thought Kraft should open a plant in eastern Pennsylvania and call it
"Cheeses of Nazareth." Apparently, Kraft thinks otherwise.
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