Guest Beer

"Guest beers" are cheap, watery beers you hardly ever drink yourself.  You keep some around in case surprise visitors show up.  If the need arises, you'll appear like a good host while being extremely frugal at the same time.  Cheapness is the key attribute.  When you offer a guest beer to an unexpected caller, your unspoken message is:  "Yes, I am being hospitable, and yes, this is a really bad beer, so I'm sure you won't be staying long."    

In no particular order, here are ten fine examples of guest beer:

Natural Light.  a.k.a. Natty Light, Nasty Light.  Probably the #1 choice of poor college kids.  If you drink enough to catch a buzz, you'll either puke or you'll pee for a day and a half.

Keystone.  a.k.a. Kidney Stone

Ice House.  a.k.a. Lice House, Mice House

Milwaukee's Best.  a.k.a. Milwaukee's Worst, Milwaukee's Beast












MeisterBrau.  a.k.a. Mister Beer.  Norm's quaff on Cheers.

Iron City.  a.k.a. Iron Shitty

National Bohemian.  a.k.a. Natty Bo, an old Baltimore standby.  "Natty Bo, Natty Bo, the more you drink, the more you go!"

Old Milwaukee.  a.k.a. Old Mil-yucky

Pabst Blue Ribbon.  a.k.a. PBR, a current favorite of hipster douchebags.  Doubles as a laxative.

Schaefer.  a.k.a. Shitter.  Brewed by Pabst.  "The one to have when you're having more than one."  Stay close to the bathroom.










And a bonus pick from the archives, the now-defunct but fondly remembered guest beer . . .

Olde Frothingslosh.  "The Pale, Stale Ale With the Foam on the Bottom"