Ohio's Republican candidate for governor John Kasich has already said he like to eliminate the Ohio income tax. Now he's stubbed out his fattie and announced his latest bright idea: He proposes to do away with the Ohio Department of Development. He wants to privatize it, downsize it, and turn it over to corporate executives. Because everybody knows that getting rid of taxes and regulations, reducing the size of government, and letting the private-sector free-enterprise geniuses run the world is the only way to go. He'd call his new non-government outfit Jobs Ohio.
John-Boy has other plans, too. He wants to get rid of the Ohio Dept. of Natural Resources, take it private, have AEP run it, and call it Strip Mine Ohio.
He'd shut down the Ohio Dept. of Transportation, turn it over to RhinoKote, and name it Pothole Ohio.
The Ohio Highway Patrol would be eliminated, replaced by the five former policemen of New Rome. This free market entity would be known as Speed Trap Ohio.
The entire Ohio Public Employees Retirement System would be privatized and run by Bernie Madoff. We'd call it Ponzi Ohio.
All members of the Ohio House and Senate would be let go, their functions taken over by the student government at Ridgeview Middle School. It'd be named Really Small Government Ohio.
And finally, after being elected and sworn in, Kasich would privatize the Governor's office and downsize himself. The state's executive branch would be handed over to Rupert Murdoch, and would be known as Fair And Balanced Ohio.
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