The first is from Maureen Dowd and is an all-time satiric classic! The other is from Nick Kristof and is reminiscent of (and better than) "What If The Tables Were Turned?" by some wild-eyed blogger you may know. Click on the links for the full reads. Worth it!
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Welcome To Ted Cruz's Thunderdome
A PLACE ONCE CALLED WASHINGTON D.C.An ape sits where Abe sat.
The year is 2084, in the capital of the land formerly called North America. The once beautiful boulevards are now strewn with the detritus of democracy -- scraps of the original Constitution, corroded White House ID cards, and stacks of worthless bills tumbling out of the Treasury. Thomas Jefferson's utopia has devolved into Ted Cruz's dystopia.
A gaunt man and sickly boy trudge toward the blighted spot that was once the WW II monument, the scene of the first shutdown skirmish. They take in the gray void, the barren lost world. "How did this happen, Papa?" the boy asks.
"It started," the man says "very small with a petty fight over a six-week spending bill, but quickly mushroomed out of control."
"Whose fault was it, Papa?" the boy presses.
The man tries to explain: "The Grand Old Party, proud haven of patriots who believed in strong national security and fiscal responsibility, was infected with a mutant form of ideology. In the infected Tea Party politicians, brain function decreased and social de-evolution occurred. They began ignoring their basic survival instincts.
"It's hard to believe now, but they were fixated on stopping an effort to get health care to those couldn't afford it. It eventually led them to destroy all the things they said they held most dear."
The boy is confused. "They killed America because they didn't care about keeping America alive?" he asks.
"Well, they didn't seem to understand what they were doing. In the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, they believed they were doing the right thing. And today, what's left of the world is being run by Julian Assange from what's left of the Ecuadorean Embassy in London, and by some old right-wing nut-job in a cabin up in Idaho."
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/opinion/sunday/dowd-welcome-to-ted-cruzs-thunderdome.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss&_r=0
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Governing By Blackmail
Suppose President Obama announced:
Unless Republicans agree to my proposal for gun control, I will use my authority as commander-in-chief to scuttle one aircraft carrier a week into the bottom of the ocean.
I invite Republican leaders to come to the White House and negotiate a deal to preserve our military strength. I hope Republicans will work with me to prevent the loss of our carrier fleet.
If they refuse, I will be compelled to begin by sinking the USS George Washington in the Mariana Trench, with 80 aircraft on board.
My example is ludicrous. No one would do that. But if we default because of extremist House Republicans, the cost could be much greater to our economy and our national security than the loss of a few aircraft carriers.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/opinion/sunday/governing-by-blackmail.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
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