No Such Thing As "Too Stupid To Get Elected"

The modern GOP has always been a cobbled-together bunch of minorities trying to pose as a majority.  For over a hundred years, real Republican power has been Big Money and Big Business, but there's just not enough of those people, vote-wise.  To remain viable, the R's have struck deals with various small devils, e.g. racists, anti-labor reactionaries, anti-abortion zealots, anti-gay bigots, anti-immigration xenophobes, gun nuts, and Bible-beaters.  That shaky hodge-podge, plus blatant gerrymandering, has allowed the GOP to carry on, sort of.

But their dependence on these unholy alliances may have finally blown up in their faces.  Desperate for voters -- any voters, doesn't really matter -- they embraced the Tea Baggers without fully comprehending the depth of their madness, and their desire -- not just willingness -- to "shoot the hostage".  Government shutdown?  Default?  Another recession?  Sounds great!  "We're excited."

Many in the everyday business community are scared shitless by these extremists.  A lot of business leaders and Wall Streeters would frankly prefer the reasonable predictability of a Democrat-led Congress to the present GOP disfunction junction.  The D's are today's real pro-business party because, honestly, why would anyone want to deal with this Confederacy of Dunces?  They are living proof that there's no such thing as "too stupid to get elected". 

The Eight Leading "Thinkers" of the official Tea Party Congressional Caucus:

Steve King, Iowa, elected 2002.  Immigration reform foe.  Says Dream Act would offer citizenship mainly to drug mules.  "For every one who's a valedictorian," says King, "there's another 100 out there with calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert." 

Ted Yoho, Florida, elected 2012.  Compares the fight to defund Obamacare to "Rosa Parks, Lech Walesa, and Martin Luther King."  Claims tanning-bed tax is bigoted against white people:  "It's a racist tax."  Says the Bill of Rights guarantees civilian access to military weaponry:  "When you read the 2nd Amendment, the militia had the same equipment as the military to protect them against the tyrannical government."

Louie Gohmert, Texas, elected 2004.  Warns that jihadists are sending pregnant women to the U.S. to have "terror babies".  Opposes gay marriage because "once you say it's not a man and a woman anymore, why not, you know, somebody who has love for an animal?"  Believes Obama ousted Qadaffi so "Al Qaeda and the Muslim Brotherhood could take over Libya."

Steve Stockman, Texas, elected 2012.  Unquestioning defender of the petrochemical industry:  "The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it, oil and gas come out."  Said Obama's post-Sandy Hook gun-control push "reminds of Saddam Hussein."  Invited the rodeo clown who wore a racist Obama outfit to be an honored performer in Texas.

Paul Broun, Georgia, elected 2007.  A physician on the House science committee, Broun insists the Earth is just 9,000 years old.  "All that stuff I was taught about evolution, embryology, the Big Bang theory, is lies straight from the pit of hell."  On the House floor, referred to the Civil War as the "Great War of Yankee Aggression."  Running for Senate in  2014.

Kerry Bentovolio, Michigan, elected 2012.  Said he might have his staffers investigate the "chem-trail" conspiracy theory that aircraft are seeding the skies with the government's mind-controlling chemicals.  Says writing a bill to impeach Obama "would be a dream come true." 

John Fleming, Louisiana, elected 2008.  Believed an article in The Onion, then denounced Planned Parenthood's "plans" to open an "$8 billion abortionplex."  Shrugs off debt-ceiling default:  "I don't think we should run government based on economists' predictions."

Michele Bachmann, Minnesota, elected 2006.  (Retiring in 2014.  Hooray!)  I rest my case.