Day 01: Repeals the big-government, job-killing, tax-raising, freedom-hating ObamaCare and replaces it with his own Massachusetts forerunner, RomneyCare. No one notices any difference whatsoever, but Republicans are all for it.
Introduces legislation requiring every adult U.S. male, during off-work hours, to wear Sperry Top-Sider boat shoes at all times.
Immediately green-lights the Keystone Light pipeline, creating thousands of jobs that Obama blocked. Originating in Milwaukee, the Keystone Light pipeline will deliver cheap, thin American beer across the nation, lowering our costs and reducing our dependence on foreign alcohol.
Gets tough with Switzerland, issuing an Executive Order calling for the Swiss to "play by the rules" and stop cornering the markets on chocolate and cuckoo clocks.
Repeals Obama's big-government, job-killing, tax-raising, freedom-hating 55 MPG requirement. Replaces it with a new EPA rule mandating that every American family obtains, just like the Romneys, 4 Cadillacs and 4 highly-trained dressage horses. The horses cost more, but get better mileage.
As is his custom, in his Inaugural Address, he will both endorse and repudiate every issue of the past half-century. He'll be simultaneously for and against: organized labor, income taxes, the auto industry, Roe v. Wade, health insurance reform, immigration reform, gun control, environmental protections, military spending, economic stimulus, social services, etc. etc. etc.
That's what a Romney presidency would be like!!
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