Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mitt "Scissorhands" Romney, Unrepentant Heterosexual Hair Stylist
Back in the 1960's, when young Mitt Romney was attending an exclusive, all-male, private high school in Michigan, he led a posse of five preppies who tackled, held down, and forcibly cut off hunks of a fellow student's hair. This unfortunate student's crime was being "different" -- his hair was long-ish and bleached blond, he didn't fit in with the crowd, and he was suspected of being gay.
With a mixture of shame and remorse, the other participants clearly recall the incident to this day. Mitt, they say, was the instigator. He pointed out the boy and said, "He can't look like that. That's wrong. Just look at him!" He called him a girl. They recall that the boy, in the midst of his humiliation, was crying and begging them to stop.
When he was asked about this recently, Mitt first laughed (oh, ha-ha!) then said he didn't remember it. Back then, he said, he was involved in pranks and high-jinks, and although he didn't recall, "If anybody was hurt or offended, I apologize."
(Atta boy, Mitt. Crank up the fake sincerity and give us the classic bullshit blanket apology: "I'm sorry for anything I may have done in the past, or may be doing right now, or will do in the future, if it offends you.")
No one's perfect. We've all done things we're not proud of, but most of us haven't done anything quite like Mitt's tonsorial bully-attack. That was no prank, it was premeditated cruelty and assault. If you took part in it, it's certainly something you'd remember for for the rest of your life.
Unless you're Mitt. He shook his Etch-A-Sketch again and claims he can't recall. I claim Mitt Romney is a lying sack of shit. And I will never patronize his barbershop!
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