Recently On "Dolt 45, Apprentice President"

Episodes of the reality TV show "Dolt 45, Apprentice President" have lately focused on the Abominable Showman's penchant for diversion and subject-changing.

Hope Hicks admits to constant lying, then abruptly quits her White House job?  No problem!  It's Time For Tariffs!  On foreign steel and aluminum.  (Sort of.  Maybe for some countries.)

A porn star sues the Apprentice President to invalidate a hush money deal about his sexual escapades?  Watch this!  It's a Major Announcement -- I Will Talk With Kim Jong Un!  (Probably.  At some point.  Somewhere.  About something.)

In both of these recent examples, the Combover Cockatiel acted on his own knee-jerk impulses without prior consultation with anyone (except himself -- "my primary consultant is myself").  Whenever the heat is up or the ratings are down, he may be counted on to pull shiny objects out of his ass.  The show must go on, and there's more deflection to come.

Buster's Blog has obtained an advance copy of the script for an upcoming episode, in which Dolt 45 will be indicted by Robert Mueller, then react by firing him and sending every American a $200 tax rebate check and 50% off coupon for any Trump hotel.  It'll be a Nielsen record-setter!