Porn Star Sues President

Through his attorney, our fake president Donald Drumpfkopf secretly paid $130,000 in hush money to porn "star" Stormy Daniels to cover up their sexual relationship.  He had her sign a nondisclosure agreement, even though he has "denied all these allegations."  Since the affair has now become public knowledge, the payoff and the gag order seem as useless as Donnie's denial.  And the undisclosed payment in late October of 2016 may violate campaign finance law.

The "actress" is now suing Trump to void the contract because he didn't sign it!  (This guy is such a stable genius.  And, like, really smart!)  Furthermore, documents in her lawsuit suggest that she may have compromising photos in her possession.  It's rumored that Trump sent her a "dick pic."  Seth Myers described what that might look like:

"A flaming-hot Cheeto on a Brillo pad."  LMFAO!

We realize we're all on a journey up the river into the heart of darkness, but did you ever in your wildest dreams expect to see the headline "Porn Star Sues President"?

It makes one long for the days of Clinton and the simple, quiet dignity of an Oval Office blow job.


And now . . .  back to guns and Russia!