Understanding Contractor Terminology

Sooner or later, we all have need of a contractor.  It might be a home remodeler, a roofer, a landscaper, or whatever.  While most of us engage in a little light bullshit from time to time, contractors are true professional BS'ers.  Because our need for their services is inevitable, Buster has put together this handy guide for translating what contractors say:



What the contractor says                                      What the contractor means
"When"                                                                 "If"
"Now"                                                                   "Later"
"30 or 40 minutes"                                                "4 hours"
"A couple hours"                                                   "A couple days"
"A couple days"                                                    "A month, minimum"
"Yes"                                                                   "Maybe"
"Maybe"                                                               "No"
"No"                                                                     "You're an idiot for even asking"
"I promise/I guarantee"                                        "I hope/I wish"
"I need to show you something"                             "This will cost you $500 extra"
"Here's what we ran into"                                      "$1000 extra"
"You've got a problem"                                          "$2500"
"Oh, shit!"                                                             "$5000"