Oil Wells In State Parks?

Buster told you about this a couple weeks ago. Now that the Kasich Krew has actually taken office, it's a step closer to reality.

Kasich's director of Natural Resources is an oil industry hack named David Mustine. He says he's "open" to the idea of allowing oil and gas wells to be drilled in Ohio's state parks and other public lands. This is a reversal of long-standing ODNR policy. Because the state might make a bit of money from such wells, Mustine says it could help reduce the budget deficit.

Bullshit! The R's will now try to justify every hair-brained scheme as a way to cut the deficit. In this instance, Ohio would not make that much at all. Those who'd really get rich would be Mustine's old buddies in the oil and gas industry. Fuck them!

Check out the graphic above, showing the area around Salt Fork State Park. Every little black dot marks the location of an existing oil or gas well. (Those within the park were drilled before the state bought the land in 1960.) That's a hell of a lot of wells! But not nearly enough to suit the oil companies. They won't be happy until they fill in the blanks and completely cover Salt Fork with their goddam little black dots. This is just so wrong on so many levels.

Tom Stewart, an industry lobbyist and adviser to Mustine, has said that opening up our public lands to oil and gas leases will "take the burden off the taxpayer and make these properties support themselves." Hmm. That's an interesting way of looking at it. (Make that lazy property get up off its ass and get a job!) Let's start by making John Kasich's property support itself by drilling a bunch of wells in his backyard! Do that first and have John-Boy report back to us.

GOP Gets Ready To Grandstand On Health Care . . . Then Everything Else

"Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!"

The US House of Representatives, led by Sir John of Orange, is ready to start "debate" on the Republican Bill HR 2, officially known as the "Repealing the Job-Killing Health Reform Act" Act. (Act Act?? Gotta be one of the worst names for a piece of legislation in American history! The GOP is off its game. Where's the snappy title, like "Patriot Act" or "No Child Left Behind"?)

It's all for show, of course. It will easily pass in the House, but is DOA in the Senate, and would be vetoed promptly if it ever reached Obama's desk, which it won't. But the R's believe this false "repeal" will score political points, which is all that counts.

The GOP's rhetoric is, as usual, calculated, cynical, and bumper-sticker simple: "Obama-Care is a government take-over of your health care, and it's bad, bad, bad. Did we mention bad?" What hilarious horseshit! Why is it bad? It's "job-killing", of course. How so? Which jobs? They never say, believing only that they don't have to.

Meanwhile, the Dems flail about wonkily, making policy speeches highlighting 24 benefits of the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act. They correctly point out that most Americans like these things, think they're good, not bad. All this is perfectly true, but requires explanation, thought, and comprehension -- not the long suit of the average American. So the R's are banking on boredom and misunderstanding. Craven douchebags!

I sent an email to my new congressman, Steve Stivers (R). Told him I was opposed to HR 2, and wanted him to vote against it on principle. Since Stivers campaigned on health care repeal, I knew how he'd vote. Just wanted to hear what he'd tell me.

Ten days later, I heard. (Kilroy used to reply the next day. I miss her already.) Stevie Wonder tells me he'll vote for HR 2, for repeal -- no debate necessary for him. He is of course in favor of reducing health care costs, increasing access to care, and reducing the number of uninsured. Of course! But he's decided Obama-Care doesn't do this "fully", so fuck it, he's against it, and let's just get rid of the whole thing. Oh, OK, Steve-O. What a reasonable position: "I like it, but because I don't like 100% of it, I'm 100% opposed to it."

Stivers is a former insurance industry lobbyist and a big, fat liar. I look forward to voting his sorry ass OUT in two short years!

"But Honest, Officer, She Looked So Natural."

A man from Geneva, Ohio has been arrested for having sex with a dead woman. When questioned by police, the man said he thought the woman was alive. He went on to say that during their date that night, the woman "was less talkative than normal, had very little appetite, was chilly, and slept through the entire movie." He nevertheless believed she was enjoying herself.

Police charged him with abuse of a corpse and possession of marijuana. Could be a connection there.

Sarah Palin's Arizona Matzah Recipe

On the very day of the memorial service for those killed in Arizona, before President Obama spoke so movingly at that service, Sarah Palin decided to release a video statement. Sister Sarah wants us all to know that it's not her fault, that she's not sorry about anything, and it's yet another instance of the liberal media attacking her unfairly. So, you see, she's a victim too.

Yeah, right! Is there a bigger blockhead anywhere than Sarah Palin?

(Click the link for her special matzah recipe.)

http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/bf46a632a6/sarah-palin-s-blood-libel-matzah-recipe

ENOUGH!!!!

As the world knows by now, on Saturday Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D) was shot in the head during an event in Tucson. The shooter was a 22 year old man full of paranoid right-wing crap. He killed six and wounded several others. It's clear he intended to assassinate Giffords. She's still alive, but may never be the same again.

The killer was a loner, estranged from family and friends, and slowly going nuts. He was suspended from college in September after several disruptive incidents. A condition of his return to school was that he take and pass a thorough mental exam. He never did. Instead, in November, he went to a gun shop and bought himself a Glock pistol.

A couple questions:

When will this country wake up and adopt a sane gun policy? Because right now, at least in fuckin' Arizona, the insane can evidently purchase handguns with no trouble at all.

When will the far-right flame-fanners admit their culpability in this tragedy? In the fall campaign, Sarah Palin infamously put rifle-scope crosshairs on a map of the U.S. to indicate the Democratic candidates she had "targeted" for defeat. (Giffords was one of them.) The headline on her map was, "Don't Retreat, Re-Load!" Giffords' opponent used a campaign slogan, "If not votes, then bullets." Beck, Limbaugh, and O'Reilly spend endless hours getting the dumbasses all lathered up. The TEA Baggers respond with frenzied, incoherent anger. No, none of them pulled the trigger, but they all played a role. They should all be ashamed, but they aren't.

If this won't cool off some of the hot-headed horseshit rhetoric out there, what will? ENOUGH, already!!!

Boehner Has A Really Big Gavel

. . . and I hear he has a massive hammer, too. I bet it's orange! Hee-hee-hee!

The New Congress Will Be Well-Read

It's new year and a new Congress takes over today. John Boehner is the new Speaker of the House of Representatives. As a sop to the TEA Party loonies who helped him gain this position, the Orange Man will open this session of Congress by reading aloud the U.S. Constitution in its entirety. He'll then read them Newt Gingrich's "Contract With America", followed by the latest issue of the Weekly Standard, then some recent editorial columns by Cal Thomas.

Don't you love it when someone reads to you?