Scary Sounds At The Halloween Party

A neighbor of ours throws a Halloween costume party every year.  She goes all out with lots of decorations and food, and most people show up in costume.  It's always very nice.

The party was last night.  Unfortunately, I had to leave early, for two reasons.  One, some side effects of my meds began to kick in, and it was advisable that I be near my own private plumbing.  And two, one my neighbors became intolerable.

I've known this guy for a long time, and have known his wife for longer than I've known the lovely Mrs. Gammons.  Over the years, I've watched him descend steadily down through the Fox News-fake news rabbit hole, and now he's come out the other side as a sad stereotype -- the angry old, white, retired bigot.  Last night at the party, he came in full-Richard Spencer mode.  I kept trying to move around and mingle, but dammit, he kept finding me to chat me up with his random racism.

"So, how much will our property taxes go up?"  (He's been a Tea-bagger since before there was a Tea Party, railing against any and all taxes, property and other.)

"You know why our taxes are going up, don't you?  It's because we're a white island."  (A what?)  "Yeah, the city and the county are all black, and white neighborhoods' taxes pay for all of it.  A white island."  (Columbus is 62% white, and Franklin County is 76% white.  Pretty big island.)

"You ever read the New York Times?  That paper is just awful!"  (I subscribe to the Sunday Times, think it's just great, and doubt this douchebag has ever even seen the NYT, let alone read it.)

"I never watch any NFL games anymore."  Oh?  "No, never."  (No need to ask him why.  I successfully waltzed away from this one before he could engage me in the asinine objections to black players taking a knee.)

At one point, our hostess came around taking pizza orders, asking if I would eat some.  I said yes, I'd eat "a little, un poquito."  Don't know why I dropped a Spanish word, but it prompted him to tell me that he'd been to a nearby McDonald's that morning, and "everyone working behind the counter was Mexican."  (So what?)  "Well, at least they weren't Muslims!"  (Oh, puh-leeze!)

"You really wanna hear what I think?"

And finally, "Hey, I never had a chance to ask you -- what did you think of the election?"  (You mean the 2016 presidential election?)  So I went total "Auntie Maxine" on him and told him exactly what I thought of it:

I think it was a catastrophe, a tragic mistake.  The Orange Tub of Goo is a hideously unfit, racist, repulsive liar, the worst president in American history, a national embarrassment, and the idiots who actually voted for him -- like you! -- owe the whole country a huge apology!

Right about then I had to excuse myself and go home -- side effects were making me sick and so was this guy.  I will never again willingly occupy the same physical space as this insufferable moron.  It's for the best.