Jerky Boys

According to my tiny little weekly community newspaper (or, since it comes from the Dispatch Printing Co., should I say my "weakly" paper?), we are enduring a crime wave of sorts here in central Ohio.  It's reported that grocery stores in Worthington, Dublin and Delaware have experienced incidents of mass theft of . . . beef jerky.  I shit you not.

Here's the M.O.  A small group of young men enter the store with a cart, proceed to the beef jerky aisle, fill the cart with all available jerky on the shelves, then push that cart as fast as they can out the door without paying, hop into a getaway vehicle and scoot off with their ill-gotten dried meat product.

Authorities put the losses so far to the grocery stores at $5,000.  The thieves snatched a few miscellaneous laundry items, but the bulk of their $5K plunder was . . . jerky.

That's a lot of jerky! 

So, how high do you suppose these Jerky Boys were?  I mean, you gotta be high to eat jerky to begin with.  And to steal $5,000 worth of it, you are baked beyond belief!  Not a single frozen pizza, box of crackers, or six-pack of beer?  Just straight jerky, and nuthin' but?  You are messin' with Sasquatch!