Friday, February 27, 2015
CPAC
Hmmm. An interesting acronym. What could "CPAC" mean?
Crack-Pot Agenda Committee
Constipated Posers Against Common Sense
Creepy Pedantic Allied Chucklebutts
Calamitous Poopheads Are Congregating
Cretins Preventing Any Competence
Crazy People Afraid of Clinton
Craven Petty Asshole Contest
Those are good guesses, but it is of course the Conservative Political Action Conference, the annual GOP cattle call for appeasing the foamy-mouth brigade on the far right. It's a wing-nut circus where gay Republican groups are banned and the party's presidential hopefuls compete to see who can be the meanest, cheapest, least tolerant, most belligerent, insensitive SOB in all the land. It's the opposite of a beauty pageant -- it's an ugly pageant.
Snippets from the first day:
Scott Walker says if can "handle" protesting union members, then he can handle ISIS too. Scotty's foreign policy motto: Terrorists are just like public sector workers.
Chris Christie: "I am anti-abortion. I've always been anti-abortion, from the moment I was born. My anti-abortion record is clear. No one loves fetuses more than I do."
Ted Cruz: "Have I mentioned lately how much I hate Obamacare? And I hate a whole bunch of other stuff too!"
Spineless worm Bobby Jindal tells Congressional Republicans to "grow a spine."
Carly Fiorina insists that she's a woman too, just like Hillary Clinton.
Ben Carson: "Hey, I'm black! How weird is that?"
I could go on, but I'll spare you. This conference is always supposed to be a critical, serious, big-ass deal for ambitious conservative wanna-be's. They'll do anything to impress the douchebags (and moneybags) in attendance, and win the "More Conservative Than Vladimir Putin" award.
For me and many others, it's just comic relief. It's like the pilot for a bad sit-com -- you laugh so you don't cry. This is the crowd that will boo Jeb Bush off the stage for being sooo liberal. Jeb Bush!
It's what being a "conservative" in America is all about these days. And it's a sad/funny state of affairs.
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