Because Heaven Is, You Know, Way Up In The Air Behind That Door

(We now know the sad but unsurprising fate of Flight 370, but a couple days ago Sister Sarah had her own explanation.  From the Daily Currant, 3/20/14.  And to think this person was once potentially a heartbeat away from the presidency.  Yikes!)

Palin Wonders If Flight 370 "Flew Directly To Heaven" 

Palin:  "Too high"

Sarah Palin claimed today that Malaysia Flight 370 may have vanished because it mistakenly flew too high and ended up in heaven.

During an appearance on Fox News last night, Sean Hannity asked the former vice-presidential candidate for her thoughts about the aircraft, which has been missing for nearly two weeks.

The former Alaska governor stunned viewers with an unorthodox new theory that international investigators have so far ignored.

“I see all these smarty pants people on CNN saying that it was terrorism or a fire in the cockpit,” she explained to a bewildered Hannity, “but I don’t hear anyone talking about the God possibility. I mean what if they accidentally flew too high and got stuck in heaven?

“I’m no expert on international aviation. But I do know that God is up there looking down on us. And everyone knows that once you go to heaven you can’t come back. This would explain why we haven’t found any wreckage in the ocean and why no one saw the plane land.

"The radar had the plane at 45,000 feet, well above its usual cruising altitude. Who knows how much higher they went?

“Of course the looney liberal media can only imagine secular explanations for this mystery. They would never tell the American public that God might be involved! But I hope the Malaysian authorities and the NTSB take a look at the facts and seriously consider the idea that this flight crossed into Christ’s kingdom and isn't coming back.”

Above the Clouds

Palin's bizarre idea proved too much even for the devoutly Catholic Hannity.

“You realize that heaven isn’t actually in the sky, right?” he pleaded. “The concept of heaven is metaphorical. Some people believe it’s in another dimension or in another universe. It’s not something you can just fly into.”

“Sean, I think it’s incredibly arrogant for us as humble human beings to claim that we know how heaven works,” Palin responded. “How do you know there’s not a door to heaven in the sky between Malaysia and Vietnam?”