Welcome to Buster's Blog

Irregular commentary on whatever's on my mind -- politics, sports, current events, and life in general. After twenty years of writing business and community newsletters, fifteen years of fantasy baseball newsletters, and two years of email "columns", this is, I suppose, the inevitable result: the awful conceit that someone might actually care to read what I have to say. Posts may be added often, rarely, or never again. As always, my mood and motivation are unpredictable.

Buster Gammons















Wednesday, February 12, 2014

She Should Have Changed Both Names


Ms. Crabtree
It got some national play.  A central Ohio woman with the perfectly tolerable name of Sheila Crabtree has legally changed her first name to Sexy.  Forget the conceit required in that particular name change.  She's now become Sexy Crabtree, and I'm sorry, but that just doesn't work.  Crabtrees are not sexy.  Crabtrees are flowering.  Crabtrees are messy.  Crabtrees are often-plagued-by-scale-disease.  But they're just not sexy -- with the possible exception of my brother-in-law Phil, but that's not for me to say. ;)

If she requires a first name of Sexy, film history might provide Ms. Crabtree with inspiration for some fitting last names for a real one-two punch:

From the James Bond collection -- Pussy Galore, Plenty O'Toole, Holly Goodhead, Xenia Onatopp, Merry Goodnight.

From the Austin Powers trilogy -- Alotta Fagina, Felicity Shagwell, Foxxy Cleopatra, Dixie Normous, and the twins Fook Mi and Fook Yu.

From Caddyshack -- Lacey Underall.
Ms. Underall

So, Ms. Crabtree, what do say about a new last name as well?  How about Sexy Lingerie?  Sexy Bod?  Sexy Thang?

Ponder it and get back with me.



 
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 6:31 AM

    Crabtrees are known for 'suckers'. Need to trim off the suckers every so often.

    As far as last names... Sexy 'Thang' (but with the new Christian name, that probably goes without saying, except in this case), Sexy 'Bod' (maybe except in this case), Sexy 'Shoes' (suggested for those with or have a partner with a foot fetish). I just hate to be her kids.

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