The Return Of Icky Ricky

But really, has he ever left us?

"Because, well . . . Jesus!"

Rick Santorum, former Republican Senator from Pennsylvania, is back for another try at the presidency.  This will make three in a row, I think -- '08, '12, and now '16.  Icky Ricky is the gift that keeps on giving.  A quick search of Buster's Blog spits up the following selected Santorum references (some are direct quotes, others just my comments):

• "Pre-natal testing leads directly to abortion."

• Rick believes, literally, in demons.

• Wants to outlaw contraception.

• "Separation of church and state makes me want to throw up."

• Racist family-values dumbfuckery.

• Santorum has left Puritanville and is speeding straight to Torquemada Town.

• "We will never have the smart people on our side."

• Today, Rick Santorum said his campaign has been suspended, but he refused to terminate it until it had undergone an ultrasound, watched a video, and had been sent home for a 48 hour waiting period.

I look forward to resuming regular Santorum floggings.  #IckyRicky2016!

For my conservative friends who are not quite clinically insane, there's always George Pataki.  You remember him, don't you?  No?  Oh well.

Palin's Pain

Bristol Palin, that is.  The daughter of the Wasilla-billy Sarah Palin, Bristol was set to be married again this past weekend, but the nuptials were cancelled at the last minute.  Oh, no!  Woe is her!  Alas and alack!

Her intended, it turns out, already had a wife.  Oops!  He was a former "reality" show contestant, as was Bristol herself.  When two such ego-maniacal attention addicts get together, some problems should be expected.  And when the thing implodes and dies virtually on the church steps, sharing one's heartbreak on Facebook is the only way to go.  (I mean, I would.  Wouldn't you?)

Poor Bristol asked us to feel her pain in a FB post, "The Wedding That Wasn't," wherein she asked all her FB "friends" to send her their prayers.

Prayers?  LOL!  Given her maternal heritage, she should have begged for brains.    

The Philosopher's Corner Blows It Again

The Old Philosopher has sent us the results of a Washington Post limerick contest.  Real submissions, clever and funny, but not for the prudish.  (Does Buster have any prudish readers?  Nah!)

Maintain your sense of humor.  Here you go:
__________________________________________

Subject: A Blown Limerick

 

Lewinsky and Kaczynski

The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called
the 'Style Invitational'.

 

The requirements this week were to use the two words'Lewinsky' (the
Intern) and 'Kaczynski' (the Unabomber) in the same limerick.

 

Now, remember, the following winning entries were actually printed
verbatim in the newspaper, no bleeps or xxxs:

 

Third place:

There once was a girl named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas 'Hail to the Chief'
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

 

Second place:

Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky.

 

And the winning entry:

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter,
When deciding how best to be blown

Thanks, Old Philosopher!

A Friend Indeed

"His aptitude for silence made him a most agreeable companion."

-- Sherlock Holmes on his friend Dr. John Watson

"I Wanna Kill People,Too!"

"I'm so excited by the death penalty!"

Last week, Nebraska state legislators easily approved a bipartisan bill to repeal the state's death penalty.  Their decision reflects growing public opinion on this issue across the country.  Yesterday, Nebraska Gov. Pete Ricketts (R - of course) vetoed the bill.

Ricketts claimed the death penalty was a matter of "public safety" (but could offer no evidence that capital punishment makes anyone safer).  He said that repeal of the death penalty would make Nebraska appear "soft on crime".   (Yeah, can't have that.  Hordes of previously-deterred wanna-be murderers were ready to flock to the newly-squishy Cornhusker State until Ricketts got tough.)

What a crock!  Ricketts just wants to kill some people legally.  Believes it gives him gubernatorial gravitas:  "We've been executing people in Nebraska since 1867, and goddam it, I want my turn!"  What a bastard.

The state legislature will now try to come up with enough votes to overturn the governor's veto.  We shall see.    

Fetuses In Charge!

In one of the more outrageous, unfair, unscientific and altogether idiotic actions in recent memory, Ohio State Rep. Sarah LaTourette (R-Bainbridge Twp.) has introduced HB 135, which would legally prohibit abortions of any fetus with a prenatal Downs Syndrome diagnosis.

Seriously, what the fuck?  It was not that long ago that medical science developed the prenatal testing techniques that allowed parents-to-be, for the first time ever, to know of birth defects in advance.  Now Ms. LaTourette would like to make such testing and knowledge a moot point.  Her bill would force women to carry and give birth to known Downs babies, no matter what.  The wishes of the mother and her partner would count for nothing.  

She wants us to believe that her HB 135 is intended to reduce "discrimination."  Discrimination against who?  An embryonic bit of protoplasm with a genetic kink, or the living, breathing, sentient human being carrying said embryo?

Whenever you give legal rights to eggs, sperm, and little bits of fertilized whatever, you are simultaneously taking away rights from actual people.  Fetuses are in charge.

It's not just misguided, it's insane.  HB 135 has no chance, but this is how conserva-bots like LaTourette occupy themselves and waste our time.      

I Don't Get It. #137.

In 2012, mentally unstable crack addicts Timothy Russell and Malissa Williams drove by a Cleveland police station.  Their piece-of-crap car backfired, which the police mistook for a gunshot.  The cops took off in hot, angry pursuit.  During a 20-mile chase involving 60+ police cars, Russell refused to pull over even though the cops had opened fire on his vehicle.  When his bullet-riddled old Chevy finally rolled to a stop, Russell had been wounded multiple times, as had Williams.  At that point, Officer Michael Brelo hopped up onto the Chevy's hood and finished them off by firing 15 shots through the windshield.

Officer Brelo is white.  Russell and Williams were black and unarmed.  In total, 137 shots were fired at them and their vehicle.  One hundred and thirty seven.  A crack pipe was on the front seat.

Yesterday, Brelo was found innocent of voluntary manslaughter, even though he emptied his weapon at point-blank range upon two unarmed, grievously wounded people who posed no threat or danger to anyone at that point.  Brelo took it upon himself to make sure they were good and dead, on the off chance they weren't already.  Because they . . . didn't pull over?  

And for that, he's innocent of all criminal charges.  I just don't get it.  Either the prosecutor brought the wrong charges, or the judge made the wrong decision, or the law itself is wrong.  Something is wrong.  It's wrong in Cleveland.  And it's wrong in plenty of other cities.