Demanding Their Phallic Symbol Rights

The Texas state legislature recently passed a bill allowing college students to freely carry firearms on the campuses of state universities.  The governor signed it into law.

Now more than 1000 University of Texas students have organized a clever protest of this stupid law.  They will march, assemble and attend classes while openly carrying dildoes on campus.

That's because the crazy-ass Lone Star State not only has its new law encouraging drunk, stoned teenage college students to publicly carry lethal weapons, it has other laws which ban the public display of sex toys.

"I'll give up my dildo when you pry it from my cold, dead hands."

(Little-known old photo of Charlton Heston at a 
Texas dildo-rights rally.)

In Texas, you can show a real Glock but not a fake cock.

(I'm gonna crawl out on a limb and say some of these Texas legislators have serious manhood issues.)

The UT students say its a simple matter of equal rights.  If gun-nut students can carry pistols, these other students demand the same right to carry the phallic symbol of their choice.

He's A Little Late With His Epiphany

As you know, John Boehner has quit as Speaker of the House and wants to leave by the end of this month.  But his own party can't agree on who's next, so Boehner says he'll stick around indefinitely until they do.  Oh, how noble.

Said Boehner:  "While we go through this process, we've got to continue to address the people's priorities.  This institution cannot grind to a halt."

I'd say it can, because that's precisely what happened on Boehner's watch.  For five years, Orange John was nothing but a human clog in the arteries of government.

And I'd say he's come to this conclusion a little late.

What's Gumming Up The Works? Surprise! It's Tea Bags.

As House Speaker, the Orange Boner finally got sick and tired of all the Tea Baggers' shit.  Surprise!  He quit.  And good riddance.

It was widely assumed his successor would be House Majority Leader and Boner buddy California Rep. Kevin McCarthy.  McCarthy said he wanted the job, but the Tea Baggers did not want him.  Surprise!  He withdrew.

So, thanks to those insane Tea Baggers, House Speaker is now a job that no one in the gerrymandered GOP really wants.  "Our brand is asshole, but this is too much even for us!"

Chaffetz:  "Scale?  What scale?"

Webster

The R's are left with Utah Rep. Jason Chaffetz, the graphically-challenged chair of the recent  Planned Parenthood attack "hearing," and Florida Rep. Daniel Webster, favorite of the wacko, far right Freedom Caucus.  This Daniel Webster is only slightly more energetic than the original Daniel Webster, who's been dead since 1852, and he's far less well-known.

The real Daniel Webster

Nice meltdown, GOP!  LMFAO!

Odds Are Against Black-To-Black Presidents

If you were hoping Ben Carson would succeed Barack Obama as President, forget it.

It's not that America isn't ready for two black presidents in a row.  It's that Carson has made the same mistake that scuttled the campaigns of so many previous GOP wanna-be's like Rick Perry, Michelle Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and Sarah Palin:  He opened his mouth and said exactly what he was thinking. 

And it was fucking nuts.

Hypothetical Sniff Test

Here's a hypothetical for you.

Suppose someone shares a post from a public figure on social media.  The public figure is expressing a very strong opinion on a controversial topic of the day.  The person sharing it makes no comment whatsoever -- just shoots it out there as is.

Pretty common these days.  And quite natural to assume the person agrees with the opinion shared.  "Share if you agree," right?

But suppose this person claims he actually disagrees with the public figure and shared the post -- without comment -- just to be sarcastic or funny.

Would you believe him?

Me neither.  Doesn't pass the sniff test.

Gun Nuts Want To Baffle Us With Bullshit

It happens after every mass shooting.  The gun nuts try to dismiss the concerns with their standard boilerplate slogans and spin.  They try to baffle us with bullshit, then quickly change the subject.  The aftermath of the Umpqua Community College massacre is no different.  This time, the gun nuts are sounding two familiar themes:
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"This isn't a gun problem, this is a mental problem." -- Donald Trump

"Mentally ill people prone to violence are [the problem]." -- Marco Rubio

1.  The problem isn't really guns, it's crazy people.  While this makes for a good sound-bite, it's bullshit!  There are lots of "crazy" people, those who are mentally disturbed to some degree and seem to fit some sort of profile.  But the overwhelming majority of them are not mass murderers.  The real problem is indeed guns -- lots and lots of guns, way too many and too easily accessible by all of us, regardless of mental state.  Indisputable fact:  As the number of guns in circulation decreases, the number of gun violence episodes decreases accordingly.   End of story.  Period.  (*Data below, if you're interested.)
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"It's clear that gun-free zones are sitting-duck zones." -- Mike Huckabee

"These gun-free zones are a disaster."  -- Donald Trump

"UCC is one of those gun-free zones that attracts shooters." -- Sean Hannity

2.  Gun-free zones encourage mass shootings and increase the likelihood of their occurrence.  We'll let The Nightly Show's Larry Wilmore handle this one:  "You're saying the odds of being bitten by a shark actually increase in places with no sharks?!"  What ridiculous bullshit!  I guess it follows that the best way to survive in shark-infested waters is to pack your own shark.  (Refer again to the data below.)

Oh, by the way, in April the National Rifle Association held its 2015 annual convention at the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville -- a public venue with a strict no-firearms policy, i.e. a gun-free zone.  Was it an irony-free zone too?  I hope the gun nuts feared for their lives in such dangerous surroundings.

And isn't it interesting how conservatives who are so adamantly "pro-life" are at the same time anti-gun control?  Just sayin'.
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Number of Civilian Guns Per Capita By Country
1st Place -- USA, 113 guns per 100 residents
Last Place -- Japan, 0.6 guns per 100 residents
(Our gun possession rate is 188 times that of Japan.)

Number of Gun Deaths Per Capita By Country
1st Place -- USA, 10.2 gun deaths per 100,000 residents
Last Place -- Japan, 0.06 gun deaths per 100,000 residents
(Our gun death rate is 170 times that of Japan)

Sources:
Survey of Small Arms, 2007
Graduate Institute of International Studies, Geneva, Switzerland
World Health Organization
Dr. S. Bangalore, NYU Medical Center, New York City
Dr. F. Messerli, St. Luke's Medical Center, New York City
ABC News

ENOUGH!

And it has happened again, this time at a community college in Roseburg, Oregon.  Ten are dead, seven are wounded.

I am sick of American gun violence, and outraged by the NRA and the gun nuts who defend the awful status quo on behalf of their precious "rights." 

Since the Sandy Hook massacre, there have been 142 school shootings -- nearly one a week.  Just schools.  And schools usually means kids.

This year, an average of 36 Americans have been killed by guns every single day.  Too many people have come to accept this as normal.  It is not normal.  If you think it's normal, you are part of the problem.

Our country has two really big problems with firearms.  Solving them will take time and strength of character.  It will be a long process, not an event.

1.  It's much too easy to get a gun, and it's easy to get one too quickly.  Obviously, this is true for the mentally disturbed, but it's also true for everybody.  We're talking about lethal weapons designed for the sole purpose of killing, and capable of doing so instantly.  Instead of quick and easy, we need to slow things down drastically.  We need painstaking, time-consuming, ultra-thorough criminal and psychological background checks on every gun purchase.  You have no right to instant ownership.

2.  We possess way, way too many guns in this country.  Per capita, no other nation in the world comes close.  Americans own almost half of the world's civilian firearms.  Naturally, we're tops in gun violence.  We've created our own domestic terrorism issue.  If you think that there is nothing we can do about our excessive number of guns, or worse, you think there's nothing we should do, you're part of the problem.  If you think even more guns is a good idea, you're part of the problem.

Our stupid weapons build-up took time.  A significant reduction in the number of firearms in circulation will take time too.  Here are some ideas to thin the lethal herd.

• Federal registration of every single gun you currently possess, with fees.
• Low limits on the number of guns allowed for personal possession/use.
• Government buy-backs and other financial incentives to encourage weapons turn-ins.
• High prices and high sales taxes on the purchase of guns and ammo.
• Annual personal property tax on every gun possesssed, at a substantial tax rate.
• Heavy fines and criminal penalties for those in non-compliance.

And, oh yeah.  We may need to repeal the 2nd Amendment -- a 224-year old, single-sentence trainwreck of syntax.  Stop treating it like Holy Writ, and replace it with words that actually make sense and fit the times.

If you're an elected official in Washington D.C., you missed a golden opportunity to start this process in the wake of Sandy Hook.  Your inaction then was shameful.  Don't make the same mistake twice.  Stop being part of the problem.  Show some courage and be part of the solution.
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Sent the above to Sen. Rob Portman and Rep. Pat Tiberi, for what little good it will do.


[Regular readers will recognize this as a frequent topic/complaint from Buster.  Funny how that works, and I wish it wasn't so.  Here's a link an older post on the same subject -- a little over the top, but I still like it.]

http://bustergammons.blogspot.com/2011/01/sensible-gun-policy.html