Everything's Bigger In Texas

Including the paranoid conspiracy theories.  And asshole governors.  You'd think it would be impossible to go more moronic than Rick Perry, but Texans may have accomplished just that by electing Gov. Greg Abbott.  He's just called out the National Guard to protect against a federal takeover of Texas.  Really.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               I don't believe the feds should take over Texas.  I think we should just give it back to Mexico.

Whole Paycheck

Whole Foods, home of artisanal tofu and $35 per pound Chilean sea bass, is feeling some competitive pressure on its ridiculously high-priced items.  The grocery chain has announced it will launch a spin-off with lower cost organic products.

They're targeting the younger hipster demographic -- those who really want to impress their friends by buying vegan cane sugar or vanilla-almond flax milk, but just can't afford the $112.98 price tag.

No name has been chosen yet for the new stores, but leading contenders are "Partial Foods" and "Half Paycheck."

A Multiple Choice Question

Which scandal is least important to the Future of the Free World, our American Way of Life, and our Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness?  

a.  The New England Patriots may have deflated their footballs by 3 or 4 psi, and QB Tom Brady may or may not have been complicit in softening his balls.  (Ooh!)

b.  As Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton used private email to conduct some official government business.

c.  Foreign (i.e. not Americans, OMG!) donors have contributed to the non-profit charitable Clinton Foundation.

d.  All of the above.












The correct answer is d.  All of the above.  None are "scandals", none are important, and none of them matter in the slightest.  They do not deserve our attention.  (Of course, I've just given them some attention, haven't I?)

The Philosopher's Corner: One Nation Under God

Now that Preacher Huck has decided to treat us to another presidential bid, I'm recalling a few previous Bible-thumpers with political ambitions.

William Jennings Bryan was a 3-time loser as the Democratic presidential nominee before settling for Secretary of State.  Billy Graham never ran for office but was influential as the self-described "Pastor to Presidents."  Billy was an unofficial Cabinet member for Ike, LBJ, Nixon and Ronnie.  Televangelist Pat Robertson failed miserably in his run for the Republican nomination.  Kinda like Mike Huckabee, who wants a Mulligan in 2016.

So I think it's appropriate to share another missive from The Old Philosopher.  This one takes the form of a book review.
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We're often told that the United States is, was, and always has been a Christian nation.  But in One Nation Under God:  How Corporate America Invented Christian America, historian Kevin M. Kruse explains that the idea of "Christian America" is an invention -- and a relatively recent one at that.

As Kruse argues, the belief that America is fundamentally and formally a Christian nation originated in the 1930's when businessmen enlisted religious activists in their fight against FDR's New Deal.  Corporations from General Motors to Hilton Hotels bankrolled conservative clergymen, encouraging them to attack the New Deal programs as "pagan state-ism" that perverted the central principle of Christianity:  the sanctity and salvation of the individual.  Their campaign for "freedom under God" culminated in the election of their close ally Dwight Eisenhower in 1952.

But this apparent triumph had an ironic twist.  In Eisenhower's hands, a religious movement born in opposition to the government was transformed into one that fused faith and the federal government as never before.  During the 1950's, Eisenhower revolutionized the role of religion in American political culture, inventing new "traditions" from inaugural prayers to the National Prayer Breakfast.  Meanwhile, Congress added the phrase "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance and made "In God We Trust" the country's first official motto.  With private groups joining in, church membership soared to an all-time high of 69%.  For the first time, Americans began thinking of their country as an officially Christian nation.

During this moment, virtually all Americans -- across the religious and political spectrum -- believed that their country was in fact "one nation under God."  But as the country moved from broad generalities to the details of issues like school prayer, cracks began to appear.  Religious leaders rejected this "lowest common denominator" public religion, leaving conservative political activists to champion it alone.  Once in Richard Nixon's hands, politics that conflated piety and patriotism became the sole property of the right.

Provocative and authoritative, One Nation Under God reveals how the unholy alliance of money, religion and politics created a false origin story that continues to define and divide American politics to this day.

  
 "The Old Philosopher"
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Buster's note:  Religious affiliation has been falling steadily for decades.  These days, the percentage of us who claim to attend church services regularly is just 37% and declining.  The percentage who say we never go to church is 29% and rising.

So good luck to Preacher Huck!

GOP 2016: The Hits Just Keep On Comin'!

More accurately, the shits keep coming.  Three more no-chance conserva-turds entered the Republican presidential fray in the past couple days.  Here's all you need to know about the newbies:

Dr. Ben Carson.  Retired surgeon.  No political experience, no elective office.  (Aim high, dude!)  Homophobe, Tea Bagger, and rigid opponent of Obamacare, although he offers no alternative, just a return to the past.  Prone to stupid pronouncements like, "Obamacare is like slavery."  He's the Herman Cain of 2016.

Carly Fiorina.  Former business executive.  No political experience, no elective office.  Ran unsuccessfully for U.S. Senate seat from California.  Says her background has allowed her to "understand the economy and executive decision-making."  In her tenure as CEO of Hewlett-Packard, she decided on an ill-advised merger with Compaq which  led to 30,000 layoffs and cut HP's stock price in half.  She was forced out and retired in 2005.  With her "understanding," she failed to register the domain name carlyfiorina.org, which now shows 30,000  :(  unhappy faces representing those she laid off.  Hates the Clintons.  Will serve as the 2016 campaign's unofficial attack dog.

Mike Huckabee.  Former Baptist preacher.  Former Arkansas governor.  Former presidential candidate.  Former Fox News host.  Lots of "former" going on with Huck.  "Current" and "future" are in serious doubt.  Has written a book titled God, Guns, Grits and Gravy.  He's vehemently anti-abortion and anti-gay.  Has called Jay-Z a pimp and Beyonce trash.  Thinks Jews could have prevented the Holocaust if only they had more guns.  Huck is full of holy bat-shit.  His natural and only constituency is old, white evangelicals.  And thank god, there aren't enough of them to put his crazy ass in the Oval Office.  Huckabee 2016 will be Huckabee 2008 redux.


Cruz, Paul, Rubio, Carson, Fiorina, Huckabee.  More to come.  The GOP is really reinventing itself, isn't it?  Good grief!   

Who's The Thug?

Let's recap.  The Maryland State's Attorney has found that Freddie Gray committed no crime.  She has also brought charges of 2nd degree homicide, manslaughter, assault and negligence against the six police officers involved in his arrest.

These six cops rousted Mr. Gray for no reason, broke his neck, and gave him a "rough ride" in the police van just for the sadistic "fun" of it.  When they were finished, Mr. Gray wasn't breathing.  Later, he was dead.

Now tell me again.  Who's the thug?
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(All 6 of the cops have turned themselves in and are in custody.  Baltimore is still under curfew rules.  Here's hoping for a calm and quiet night.)

The List Of People Who Will Die In The Revolution

From comedian Hari Kondabolu.  Very funny!  "There will be electric guitar!"

(Just couldn't get the embed code to work.  Gotta click the old-school link.)

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/u4amol/comedy-central-presents-list-of-people-who-will-die-in-the-revolution