The Quagmire Overfloweth

R. Ghouliani, Esq.

With all respectable lawyers avoiding President Spanky like the plague, the Swamp Administration is down to the Junior Achievement legal team, headed by deranged skull-head Rudy Ghouliani, who hasn't practiced law since the 1980's.  Rudy's first official act was to go on Hannity and blow up the obvious lie that Trump knew nothing about the $130,000 payment to Stormy Daniels just prior to the election and it was all Michael Cohen's doing.  Turns out, Rudy says, that Trump did know about the money, and he did repay Cohen. "Funneled" the money to Cohen, as Rudy put it.  (Good lawyer-word when your personal attorney is under federal investigation.)  But it's all good, Rudy says, because Trump didn't reimburse Cohen with actual campaign funds, and because Trump "didn't know the specifics" until very recently.  See?  No problem!

When Trump "finally" found out about the payment, Rudy quoted him as saying, "Oh my goodness, I guess that's what it was for!"  Como say what?!!!  Among the few things Trump has never said is "Oh my goodness."  The others are "I was wrong," "I'm sorry," and "I lied."    

A match made in hell

Today our Rotting Tangelo Golfer-In-Chief will address the blood-stained raving lunatics at the NRA convention in Dallas, where JFK was gunned down 55 years ago.  He's the first sitting (fake) president to do so since Reagan, himself a survivor of an assassination attempt.  The NRA has worked tirelessly over the years to make gun violence an equal opportunity event.  We are now free to be shot in schools, movie theaters, dance clubs, military bases, churches, concerts -- pretty much anywhere.  Trump and the NRA.  They deserve each other.  'Murica.

Lame duck Quitter of the House Paul Ryan has backtracked on his stupid request for the resignation of House Chaplain Pat Conroy, who was shown the door because he had the audacity to ask Congress to pray for fairness in their tax bill.  (They didn't; it isn't.)  Father Conroy took back his resignation and told Paulie Smallnuts, "Fire me!"  Ryan reversed his awful partisan decision and reinstated Conroy.  Let us now pray . . . that after Paul Ryan leaves Congress in January, we never ever see him or hear from him again.  Amen.

Scott Pruitt

The slimiest critter in the quagmire is without a doubt EPA Chief Scott Pruitt.  Not only is he committed to destroying environmental protections for the benefit of Big Oil/Gas/Coal, he'd also like the American public to pay for his World Tour.  (First-class overseas travel is so broadening.)  Pruitt enlisted lobbyist friends and staffers to "find official reasons" for him to visit a dozen countries this year, including Morocco, Israel, Japan, Mexico, and others.  Pruitt is one filthy mudpuppy.

On the home front, with a primary coming up next Tuesday, our local Ohio Republican candidates are engaged in a I'm-more-deplorable-than-thou social conserva-tard contest:
Candidate One:  "I am the candidate who loves guns, Jesus, fetuses and Trump more than anyone!"
Candidate Two:  "No, you're not.  I am!"
Taylor, DeWine, Renacci, Householder, Balderson, Leneghan, Kane, Ackison, et al -- they're all disgusting.  They brag about draining the swamp?  Hell, they are the swamp!