"No Fun League"

Or maybe the NFL should change its initials to AFL -- "All Fouls League".

It looks like more hard times for Ohio's pro football teams. The Bengals just lost at home to the mediocre 49ers, and the Browns had all they could handle eking out a last-minute home win against the mediocre Dolphins. I was watching the Browns, and it was not easy.

The Browns many deficiencies were exacerbated by the flag-happy refs. Buster doesn't want to see any player get hurt and is all in favor of reasonable safety precautions, but some of this shit is getting ridiculous. These days in the NFL, all hard hits are evidently forbidden, especially on quarterbacks. Most of the time, the defense is not allowed to even blow a nasty fart in the QB's general direction, let alone touch the SOB. C'mon, man! Football's a nasty game. And these are professionals, not school boys.

Useless trivia, but I still remember a moment in a Browns-Steelers game from the mid-1970's, when Pittsburgh was great and Cleveland was not. Steeler QB Terry Bradshaw dropped back to pass, Browns defensive lineman Joe "Turkey" Jones broke through, bear-hugged Bradshaw, lifted him up and violently head-planted him into the turf. A friggin' pile-driver! The hit knocked Bradshaw goofy (although with him it was hard to tell) and sent him to the bench. This was before the "in the grasp" rule, and although a roughing penalty was called, it was basically just a really hard sack. Today, Jones would've been ejected from the game, banned for life from the NFL, and criminally prosecuted.

I'm not calling for a return to those bad old "good old" days. I'm saying the NFL may have over-corrected just a tad in this area. Gotta let 'em play!

With two dubious flags at the end of today's game, the zebras almost handed a win to the Dolphins. Both were in the "not letting 'em play" category.

The Browns Mohammed Massaquoi made a great TD catch to apparently clinch a 1-point victory. As Massaquoi sat there in the end zone savoring his winning play, a teammate flopped down and hugged him. Unbelievably, this was flagged as "excessive celebration" -- a 15 yard penalty which made the Browns kick off from their own 20! Needing only a field goal with just 35 seconds left, Miami had a real chance.

The Dolphins needs were further served when Miami QB Chad Henne scrambled, slid feet first ("No hitsies!"), and Browns lineman Phil Taylor sort of fell on him. He literally couldn't help it. They were both going down anyway. Taylor weighs 350 pounds. He has a tough time defying the law of gravity. Even so, another 15 yard penalty put Miami very close to FG territory.

Obligingly, Henne threw a pick on the next play and that was that. But the downpour of yellow flags bothers me. The celebration penalties are a waste of time. I don't want a floorshow with a two-drink minimum, but a little silly exuberance after a score doesn't hurt anyone. And while there are plenty of legitimate things to penalize, it's going to be impossible to legislate hard hitting out of football. Not talking about head-hunting and other dangerously brutal tactics. Just talking about hard, clean hits. They're pros. Gotta let' em play!