I had an appointment early this morning with my dentist for a crown. The doc is a wonderful guy who just happens to be a very conservative Christian. (I sure can pick 'em.) There are a number of TV's throughout his offices. Usually they show some PG-rated family movie. But this morning it was the Fox News morning show, "Fox and Friends".
Watching "Fox and Friends" was a first for me. With any luck, it'll be my last. It's a poorly disguised unpaid political announcement for right-wing GOP'ers hosted by two blond Fox-bots obviously listening to Roger Ailes in their earpieces.
Here's what "Fox and Friends" wanted me to know this morning:
Bill O'Reilly was there to promote his new book about Abe Lincoln. But he didn't talk much about it. Instead, it was an opportunity for another of his patented loopy logic, fact-twisting tirades directed at guess who? "Obama says he wants to improve things economically for everyone. A terrible thing to say. It's unrealistic. It gives people false hope. You can't help everyone. I mean, whatever you do, it's not gonna help the wino or the heroin addict." (Bill, I don't think he meant literally everyone, nor was he talking about drunks and drug addicts.)
Switching gears, O'Reilly said, "We've gotta stop all this negativity toward fossil fuels. Let's face it -- they're the only energy source we have right now." (I guess solar, hydro, wind, nuclear, etc. don't count.)
Throughout the O'Reilly segment, the ass-kiss hosts bowed and scraped and grovelled at King Bill's feet, begging to touch the hem of his garment. It was nauseating.
Next up was the "National Chairman of the Tea Party" whose name I don't remember. He was there to announce which Republican the tea party would endorse for president. They're going with Newt Gingrich. One of the android hosts cooed about how this was indeed a a big, really big, important, really important endorsement! (Newt Gringrich? Really? And the tea party isn't a real party. A real party would have it's own candidates.)
The next segment featured Callista Gingrich, Newt's wife. What a coincidence. She has just published a kids rhyme book about a patriotic talking elephant who helps school children learn about American history. Mrs. Gingrich said she felt compelled to write it "because our schools aren't teaching it. They aren't doing it. They're just dumbing-down everything." (Oh. I thought that was Fox News.)
The host-bot told us that Newt himself was there, standing just off-screen. But this was his wife's moment, and he was there only to support her. Just a moment later, Newt was "persuaded" to come on to the set and be ego-stroked, praised and called "Mr. Speaker." (Mr. Speaker? Last time he held that title was 1998, when he resigned in disgrace.)
And then "Fox and Friends" wanted me to know that some teacher somewhere had been suspended for name-calling. He publicly referred to a tea party fellow teacher as a Nazi. The Fox-bots hooted and howled and said that was just terrible. Not the part about the teacher being suspended. The other part where the tea-bagger was called a Nazi. How awful! He should be fired! (Of course, technically, tea-baggers are not Nazis. They're not nearly that organized.)
At this point, mercifully, I had to open wide and get the shit drilled out of my tooth, and I couldn't hear the TV above the noise. What a relief!
My dentist does great work, but I may need to find another one.
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