Modern Life, or Your Beard Is Weird

Had dinner last night -- just a random Wednesday -- at a familiar nearby bar and grill.  The place was packed, and we got the last available table.  Not sure why it was so inexplicably crowded, but I suspect it was an influx of young customers from the adjacent apartment complex.

Don't know about your town, but my city is experiencing a boom in construction of large new apartment buildings, each one 4-5 stories tall with hundreds of units.  All these shiny new rentals are very popular with today's young adults -- a.k.a. millennials, Gen Y, hipsters.  (Yelp has identified Columbus as the nation's "hottest hipster market.")

Back to dinner.  Sitting there, I couldn't help overhearing the table behind us where two bewhiskered young men were chatting about . . . their beards:  "I really have to use a good beard oil."  "Me too.  I make my own with sandalwood oil and cedarwood oil.  It's just good as store brands and a lot cheaper."

This is yet another sign of my rapid loss of trendiness (if I ever had any to begin with).  Since I personally could not grow a beard to save my life, I know very little about them, but I've noticed the modern-day proliferation.  Everywhere these days, so many young men look like the Smith Brothers or the House of David.

But I certainly did not know that all these beards require oiling.  What, do they squeak or something?  If you don't oil them, do they rust?  I'd never before heard of beard oil.  Happily, I'll never have to worry about it, but I'd think that walking around all day with lubricated hair shrubbery on your face would be rather disagreeable.



Then again, what do I know of Modern Life?