Speaking Without Notes

This is what can happen when you speak without any preparation or notes.

Yesterday, Trumpenstein addressed the National Boy Scout Jamboree in West Virginia.  And he delivered one the most inarticulate, incoherent, rambling, sneering, inappropriate hot messes of narcissistic verbal diarrhea ever heard anywhere.  They say the man doesn't drink, but I'm not so sure.

Straight from the horse's ass, I mean mouth, here's some of what he had to say to the Boy Scouts (mind you, the Boy Scouts!):

• Tonight we put aside the fake news and all of that.
• Who the hell wants to speak about politics in front of the Boy Scouts?
• Washington, it's not a good place.  We ought to change it from the word "swamp" to the word "cesspool" or maybe the word "sewer."
• [HHS Secretary] Tom Price is here.  He better get the votes [to repeal Obamacare].  Otherwise, I'll say, "Tom, you're fired!"
• The fake media will say, "President Trump spoke before a small group of Boy Scouts."  Fake media.  Fake news.
• William Levitt sold his company for a tremendous amount of money.  And he went out and bought a yacht and he had a very interesting life.
• In the end, he failed badly, lost all his money, went personally bankrupt.  And I saw him at a cocktail party.  And it was sad because all the hottest people in New York were at this party.
• You remember that incredible night with the maps?
• We won and won.
• The polls, that's also fake news.  They're fake polls.
• Merry Christmas.  You're going to be saying, "Merry Christmas" again, folks.
• By the way, do you see the billions and billions and billions of additional money that we're putting back into our military?
• Everywhere it sails, that great Scout's name will be feared!

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The great Andy Borowitz of The New Yorker could not remain silent.

Girl Scouts Obtain Restraining Order Against Trump

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) -- In an extraordinary rebuke of the President of the United States, the Girls Scouts of the U.S.A. have obtained a restraining order against Donald J. Trump.

The order, which was granted Monday night, prevents Trump from coming withing three hundred feet of any gathering of the Girl Scouts organization.

Carol Foyler, a Girls Scouts spokesperson, said that while the G.S.U.S.A. sought the restraining order "out of an abundance of caution," the girls themselves were "in no way, shape, or form" afraid of President Trump.

"They're prepared to deal with bobcats and bears," she said.  "They can handle a malignant narcissist."

Trump wasted little time responding to the Girl Scouts action, lashing out at the organization in an early-morning tweet storm.

"Failing Girls Scouts bad (or sick) guys," Trump wrote.  "Mints, cookies terrible.  Sad!"