Ballshit!

After the New England Patriots defeated the Indianapolis Colts to advance to this year's Super Bowl, there were rumors that the home team Pats may have slightly deflated the footballs and thereby gained some minuscule advantage (don't ask me how).  Ooh, how devious!  "Deflate-gate", the wags called it.  Then the NFL's machinery of denial kicked into gear and gave us QB Tom Brady talking about how he likes his balls and doesn't want anyone touching them, and Coach Bill Bellichick discoursing at length on ball-rubbing and temperature-related shrinkage.  What a delightful non-troversy!  Ballghazi!!

The GOP chose brand-new Senator Joni Ernst to deliver the party's response to the President's State of the Union address.  She's an anti-tax, anti-government simpleton best known for her campaign ad about growing up castrating hogs on the family farm.  In her SOTU rebuttal, Joni the Ball-Snipper emphasized her upbringing as a salt-of-the-earth "poor Iowa farm girl" who has learned first-hand the need for self-reliance, not government handouts.  After her little speech, it was reported that her family received almost $500,000 in federal farm subsidies.  So, . . . yeah.