6 Weeks Paid Leave Opposed By People With 33 Weeks Paid Leave

WASHINGTON -- President Obama's proposal to give workers six weeks paid leave is meeting with strong opposition from a group of people who annually receive thirty-three weeks of paid leave.

Members of the group heard the President's proposal on Tuesday night, one of the few nights of the year when they are actually required to report to their workplace.

The opponents of paid leave, who show up for work 137 days per year and receive paid leave for the other 228, were baffled by other moments in the President's speech.

For example, they were confused by Obama's challenge to try to survive on a full-time job paying $15,000, since they all currently hold a part-time job that pays $174,000.

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(From The Borowitz Report, by Andy Borowitz, 1/22/15, newyorker.com)