Crime & Punishment, (1/16/14). I'm opposed to the death penalty, but if [society demands that] some bad people simply must be executed, let's bring back the guillotine. The desired death is certain, painless and instantaneous, but it's a little messy.
In Voting, Fair Is Fair, (2/26/14). If literal uniformity [in voting access] is so friggin' important, why must it always be accomplished while reducing voter access? Why not uniformly expand it?
The New Richter Scale For Fracking, (3/18/14). Level 4: Yes, the building did sway slightly. But I think it was just the effect of the economy growing from responsible oil and gas exploration.
Like Father, Like Sons, (4/7/14). The Koch boys, Charles and David, obviously share their daddy Fred's sense of privilege and superiority: They are the top dogs, and the rest of us are just a bunch of fire hydrants.
"We're Not Racists, We're Oppressed White People," (5/1/14). Cliven Bundy, Nevada cattle rancher and batshit militia man/sovereign citizen, said he believes that "Negroes were better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life." Ah, yes, the family life of slaves. Those were the good old days.
Perfect Solution To The Washington Redskins Problem, (6/19/14). All this honor-naming of sports teams was done by old white men who never asked any real Indians what they thought. The perfect solution: Keep the name, and change the logo to a potato!
A Message For Rick Perry, (7/22/14). Sister Norma Pimentel of McAllen, Texas wants Governor Perry to know that "Jesus did not say, 'I was hungry and you asked for my papers.'"
Tips For Being An Unarmed Black Teen, (8/15/14). Explain to the police officer that you do not enjoy being shot, and would prefer that it not happen.
What D's Can Run On In The 2014 Mid-Terms, (9/19/14). First and foremost, don't be a chicken-shit. Embrace President Obama and his two huge, historic accomplishments -- economic recovery after the Great Crash of '08, and the health care expansion of the ACA/Obamacare.
Ebola, (10/17/14). "Ebola ebola ebola ebola, ebola ebola?" Ebola Ebola (R-Ebola) ebola.
Lucy Will Never Play Nice, (11/10/14). A minority of eligible mid-term voters have, in their infinite lack of wisdom, just traded economic recovery, social progress and cool, calm foreign policy for voo-doo trickle-down economics, neo-Puritanism, raging Tea-Baggers, and knee-jerk sabre-rattling. Thank you so much.
Sony's Down A Pair, (12/19/14). Sony cancelled the release of the film "The Interview", citing a lack of corporate nut-sack and resulting general wimpiness.
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