Saying Less Than Zero

Many front-running politicians resort to the "feel-good" TV ad.  These spots say absolutely nothing about issues, policies, accomplishments or voting records.  They don't attack the opponent.  In fact, they don't really say anything at all.  Their sole purpose is to foster warm fuzzy feelings -- no thinking necessary -- to a soft piano accompaniment.  The classic is, of course, Reagan's "Morning in America."

Our own Wonder-Guv, John-Boy Kasich, has just released his own slight variation on the theme.  He himself narrates the spot in his best western Pennsylvania accent.  It's heavy on dear-old-mom-and-dad pathos, but it's actually a Palin-esque one-minute word salad that says less than zero.  Totally meaningless.

"My father was a postman."  (Watch it there, Guv.  You R's are supposed to hate the postal service.)

"He told me, 'Jawhnny, you go out there and change the world.'"  (Are you suggesting that you've done that?  You're a world-changer, are you?)

"My parents were killed by a drunk driver."  (That's truly sad.  I'm sorry.  But so what?)

"One of the messages my mother and father gave me was, 'Jawhnny, make sure the place where you were is a little better off because you were there.'" ( Yes, Guv, where you were you tried to crush unions, refused to create a state-run health insurance exchange, stacked the EPA and the PUCO with corporate stooges, eliminated the Consumer's Counsel office, encouraged widespread fracking even in state parks, reduced income tax revenue while increasing regressive sales tax rates, and tried to privatize damn near everything.  Jesus, Jawhnny!  If you keep making us better off, state government may cease to exist!  Welcome to Ohio, Inc.)

But the piano was nice!