Here in our subdivision, we're having a Neighborhood Garage Sale in about a month. For now, we're collecting responses from our residents about who is participating and what items will be available. I received the following in an email yesterday, and just about ruptured myself in convulsive laughter.
Re this year's Garage Sale:
Yes, Buster, I'll be putting up one very unique but loud wife, for FREE! This is a very strong-minded and wild variation of the species, so please, only experienced fools need apply.
Extras: Comes with her own take on the English language and her own dialect. Has her own train of thought and voluminous amounts of opinions. (You'll never be without conversation again.)Cooks well. Mows lawns.
Maintenance is as follows: Water vigorously with spirits on weekends. Feed lightly or she'll become introverted. Must visit several time zones in warmer climates throughout the winter. Fertilize with gifts all year for best results.
Terms and Conditions: AS IS. ABSOLUTELY NO RETURNS.
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